BestFriends

Chapter 17

Dear Martavion....

I wanna start off by saying I'm sorry.! I have to do this..... it's the only choice I have. No more hurt..... no more pain.... no more.! I loved you with all my heart. I was baring a child for you, and married you because I loved you. I thought you loved me but you didn't and that was clear. I hope Malani is everything you will need and more. I hope she gives you the love you desire. I hope your happy with her and I hope she is happy with you. Your not a bad person you just made bad decisions. I'm more hurt than anything. I can't bring my child into this world knowing I would never have the care to give to him or her that they will truly need.'I love you I love you so much. But when I needed you......you wasn't here for me.! Do you know the rape plays every single day in my head and I still have night meres. And your not there.! Your never there. What am I suppose to do.? My mother blames me for it.! I don't understand how.?! I could never do that to our baby. I have to leave i can not live any more.

I read out loud. Her words, her voice played over and over and over in my head. I couldn't stop hearing her. I wasn't there for my own wife. I wasn't there for anything when she needed me. I hate the fact that I can still here her voice like a broken record tape.

Martavionnnnn.! A voice yelled snapping me out my daze.

What.? I yelled snapping.!

I was just coming over here to see if you was okay. Malani said sitting down at my table. I sat in the lunch room a lone. I know this dumb bitch wasn't trying to ask me this dumb question.!

No bitch I'm in the position because of you.! Do it fuckin look like I'm okay.? I lost my wife and child.!

It's not your only child.

Get a DNA test until than stop fuckin talkin to me.

You know what.! That's what she gets I'm kinda glad she killed her self maybe you'll learn to finally have some respect for someone other than yourself. I got up so quick rushing to her throat. I was gonna rip the shit from the middle of her head and shoulders.

You fat bitch.! I queezed as hard as I could until she was in the air. Her eyes rolled in the back of her head and I dropped her to the floor. "Next time I will fuckin kill you.!" She started hating and coughing trying hard to catch her breath. I sat back in my seat trying to calm down and relax. She really pissed me off to the max I wanted her dead. But than again all I wanted was my baby back. That was my heart my fucking BestFriend and she's gone. I will never see her again. Everybody in her family hats me. Telling me that I'm so wrong and they don't even want me at her funeral tomorrow. This shit hurts. I can't Barry my wife.? What type of bullshit is that.?! I know she's mad at me for what I did but I also know she wouldn't want me to miss her funeral.

I went to her mom house to try and reason with her to see if I could get access to the church but all she did was cry and cuss me out. She wanted me no where near that church and cemetery. I don't know why everybody else acting so innocent like me hurting her was the only thing that killed her when she was raped by her mothers brother what type of shit is that.?! That's why that nigga dead.! I laughed to my self.

You should leave.! Mr. Jenson said coming outside.

She was my wife.!

I know.!

That has to count for something right.?

Yeah it does and no it doesn't because if she was your wife you would of treated her with the love and respect she needed not off some where fucking her bestfriend.!

I'm tired of this I can't do this no more.! I walked off the porch and into my truck. I sent a big I love you text out to everyone I knew who still cared about me letting them no today was my last day.! I couldn't take the pain I was in. I couldn't take the hurt I was feeling. I was angry. I couldn't live a life without the one I loved the most. I didn't want nobody but her.

Love is strong love is the most powerful drug and you never know what type of impact a person will have on you until you come across that person. I turned my phone off from all the calls and text messages I was beginning to get. I didn't wanna hear any bodies opinions and no, stop, I love yous. I sped off down the street going 60 hiring 80 than 100 I let go of the well driving straight into traffic as a 18 wheeler truck coming full speed hit me. Tearing my car in two. I took my very last breath and I could see my beautiful wife.!