Thought Catalog

How To Make Him Chase You

"How To Make Him Chase You"

By Mark Rosenfeld

If you can't get a guy to chase you, you won't succeed in today's dating world.

Like it or not, the chase isn't just something men enjoy. It's something coded to their DNA, fundamental to building and keeping attraction.

But before we all start ranting about how messed up that is, let's be honest. You love the chase, too. If a nice guy walked right up to you and served himself to you on a silver relationship platter, you'd be bored out of your brain cells.

It's coded into all of us. A law of the universe. That which has true value, requires work.

If someone walks up to your door and offers you a million dollars, you don't get excited.

If someone claiming to be Channing Tatum messages asking you out, you're not wondering when the date is.

And if an overseas 'investor' emails you about a rich prince's fortune you've just inherited, you don't start planning how to spend your share.

You just think "What's the catch?"

Everything obeys the law: That which has true value, requires work.

A man wants to chase.

He wants to feel like he's the only guy in the world that could have won you. That it was his unique blend of charm and charisma. It's how he feels secure that you won't totter off to the next guy with a hint of basic suave.

And if you're honest, you want to chase, too. You want to know he wasn't just looking for a relationship with anyone – that it was you, and only you – who turned his swinging bachelor ways into a committed partner. That's how you can feel secure with him.

Ok. So chasing is important. Now, how do you get the guy to do that?

I could give you tricks to spark his interest. I could show you how to passively fake disinterest.

And it will work. He'll chase you.

But it'll be temporary. He'll chase you until he's got you, before he realizes it was all a façade – that you're not really the high value woman you made out to be. He'll tire and leave as that reality sinks in.

Instead, this is how to do it for real. It might be a little harder, but it'll be permanent.

Here's how – without playing hard to get – you can get a guy to chase you for all the right reasons.

Build a high-quality, exciting life.

Here's the deal.

You can ignore everything else I write in this article if you get this right.

Men chase and commit to women whose world they want to become a part of.

It's that simple.

The more passionate you are, the more exciting your world, and the more you are embracing the wonderful thing that is life, the more you can throw the dating textbooks out the window. Men will chase you, without you ever doing anything.

Almost every piece of good dating advice comes back to personal growth – and this one is the jewel in the crown.

Any woman can generate physical attraction and have a man want to sleep with her.

But the high-quality woman that men chase endlessly knows her real attraction isn't physical. She works on herself and builds a life she loves, rather than focusing on how she looks or how men perceive her. In doing so, she radiates the confidence of a woman who knows any man would be lucky to join her as a boyfriend.