Chapter Eight

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EDIT- Prem and Korn from 24 years ago are Kongpob and Arthit. ( I copy pasted the end A/N here because I see that not everyone reads the endnotes and is still confused!)

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24 years ago, northern Thailand

Prem. Age 17

Korn wanted to leave?  Why did he think Korn liked him?  Prem thought the signs were obvious.  He was planning on confronting Korn about it when he suggested going to their usual spot in the forest.

Prem never asked Korn about his plans for the future.  Somehow he imagined they involved him.

Korn couldn't wait to get out of this place, the place that included him.  Prem had not yet decided what he wanted to do after school.  Prem's needs were simple; he wanted to be wherever Korn was.

Prem couldn't even pretend he was alright.  He knew the consequences of being gay.  To him, it didn't matter.  He was willing to do whatever it took to be with Korn.  Now he didn't have to worry about any of that.  Korn didn't return those feelings.  Maybe it was a good thing he never told Korn how he felt.

Or how he had been feeling since the day he saw Korn next door. 

Prem didn't want to move houses at all, he was angry.  He had to leave his school and friends behind.  They had promised to write letters, but Prem knew it was not going to last.  Prem was pacing around the garden trying to cool off when he saw the boy next door trying to see what was going on.

He had fair skin and chubby cheeks.  Prem was captivated by how beautiful this boy was.  All he wanted was to keep looking at him.

As they grew up Prem realized he wasn't supposed to like looking at the boy.  Korn was more than just a cute face.  Prem loved everything about Korn.

Love, when Prem was fourteen, he realized what he felt for Korn was love.

When he found out the class rep liked Korn he was afraid, Aom was a pretty girl.  Korn never really told him if he liked anyone.  Korn was reassuring him that he wasn't interested in the girl only made him more hopeful.  He had been so sure Korn liked him back.

Prem always felt Korn watched him in class.  The teacher's confrontation made him ecstatic.  He had been so happy that he immediately decided it was the day he was going to confess to Korn finally.

Now he was completely heartbroken.  Not only did Korn say he watched Prem because he looked funny, but he also wanted to leave him for a better life.  Prem wanted to go home.  Even Korn caught up in his mood.

"What's wrong with you?" Korn asked in a concerned voice.

"Nothing, let's go home," he replied standing up.

"Why?  We just got here."

"I know, but I want to go home now.  I'm tired."

Korn looked confused, "But..."

"Let's just go back."

"Prem, tell me what's wrong."

"For someone whose name means the sun, you aren't a bright person."  [fun fact- Thinnakorn means 'the sun 'as well]

"What?  What did I do?"

Prem started to leave without responding.  He was too upset to talk.  If he opened his mouth now, Prem knew he would say something he would regret.

They walked back in silence.  When Korn and Prem parted to go to their own homes, Korn broke the silence.

"Are you going to come over later?"

"No."  Prem didn't hesitate when he replied.

Korn looked confused and hurt.  "Okay, see you in the morning."

"I have to leave early; I have a meeting with the other representatives."

"Oh... alright then.  See you at school."

"See you.  Bye."

Korn looked like he wanted to say more, but he didn't say anything.

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For the first time in his life, Prem found out he didn't know how to handle rejection.  He wondered what would have happened if Korn rejected him if he had confessed.

Prem avoided Korn pretending to be busy whenever Korn tried to talk.  They didn't hang out at school like they used to.  Classmates always surrounded prem and Korn liked to be on own, drawing.

Prem was unreasonable, and he knew that.  He just needed to get used to the idea that the person he liked didn't like him back.  What was he thinking?  That Korn would love a man?

After school, he had agreed to play football with some friends.  If he didn't have class rep duties, he always went home with Korn.  He didn't have a solid schedule, so Korn didn't know when or if Prem had any meetings.  He told Korn he was busy after school and couldn't accompany him home.  Technically Prem hadn't lied.  He said he was busy, not that he had any meeting.

They were passing the muddy old ball around.

"Ai Prem, why do you still hang out with that weirdo " one of his friends asked.

"Who?"

"The weirdo who draws?  I forgot his name."

"Korn?"

"Yeah, Ai Prem.  I swear to god he is a fag.  He is always following you or looking at you," another friend chimed.

"You should stay away from him before people think you are one too!  I don't know what Aom sees in him!  He is a creep!" everyone in the group laughed.

Prem stopped on his tracks; he was fuming.  They were insulting his Korn.  He opened his mouth to defend his friend when someone tapped his shoulder.

It was Korn; he handed Prem an iced lollipop.  Prem looked at his face in horror.

"I thought you would like one since it's hot," Korn said calmly before turning back and walking away.

Prem followed Korn and grabbed him by the arm.

Korn violently shook it off.  "Khun Prem, you wouldn't want your friends to see you touch a creep now would you."

The voice was cold.  It didn't suit the warmest person he knew.

"Korn... please listen."

"I have been trying to understand what I did to offend you all day.  I already got my answer.  Leave me alone Prem.  I'm happy being a weirdo."

Prem felt numb.

The disappointment in Korn's voice haunted him.

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A/N - Just because someone is named 'Prem' in their previous life it doesn't necessarily mean they have to have the same name in their present life.

To put it simply Prem and Korn from 24 years ago are Kongpob and Arthit. 😁

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