Heart of a Warrior

A Whole Lot of Past

I have my episodes here and there with the flashbacks of the war. They are endemic to my nature now. You have to keep your mind clear and whetted if you want to survive out there but if you come home that all goes to hell, you become a slave to sounds and triggers and your always in a quandary wondering what's going to trigger another attack. The worry corrodes your emotional, physical and mental health. Mind, mannerisms, and purgatives are antithesis from what they once were. You become nocturnal and you are afraid to sleep because of the nightmares that haunt the vacant corners of your tortured mind.

I cant stand the squalid wastrels that defamation their rights by protesting and fighting what soldiers like me have fought and died for.

I had an attack as soon as Evan dropped me off at my place... I closed the door a bit too loudly for my now capricious mind.

Many soldiers are looking for a reprisal so when our captain told us we are performing a blitz attack they were all for it. They are searching the destitute landscape apathetically for the poor souls they want to so desperately to covet.

My platoon was on the forefront...the vanguard. We were placed there because we were the best of the best; we were the elite. We were the most valuable asset to the Marines at the time.

It was hot very hot and the tension in the air didn't help not one bit.

Someone must have panicked and fired their weapon because as soon as we know it all hell breaks loose. Bullets whiz above our heads as we hit the unforgiving sand, face first and everybody was shouting frenzied commands.

As I look for the attackers I don't identify the familiar uniforms of our adversaries. I have come to the conclusion that this is a renegade group from a nearby establishment.

I watched as my fellow men in arms were picked off one by one.

Grenades were tossed, bullets traded, commands shouted and tears freefalling.

I woke up to me screaming and hysterically crying and my door torn off its hinges while Evan is clutching me to his chest trying to give me a sense of solace. He regards me with looks of fear and lament swirling in the icy blue depths of his eyes.

I abhor those looks of pity and morbid curiosity.

"Are you okay? I'm so sorry I didn't get here sooner God I'm so sorry Rachel." His eyes mist over with tears as he babbles on.

I place my hand on his cheek and surprisingly he leans into it and I smile at the action." Its all right it happens all the time its all good."

Evan looks at me with a mask of horror, "I'm sorry you have to go through that Rach I really am", I wipe away his tears as he gives me his condolences.

"Well how about we do this," he lifts me and carries me to the couch " I will make you my patented banana cream pancakes and you will relax," he smiles at me and settles me on the sofa.

"Okay." I say as he walks to the kitchen to make his pancakes.