Gone: Happy Ending! (Slow Update)

Everything about her

Ano ang pag-ibig? Sabi nila, masarap daw ito sa pakiramdam. Masaya daw ang magmahal. Makakaramdam ka ng kilig na parang may dumaloy na milyon-milyong boltahe ng kuryente sa katawan mo. Mararanasan mong maglakad ng may ka-hawak kamay, may humahalik sayo, yumayakap, nagtetext ng 'Goodmorning' or 'Goodnight'. May magtatanong kung 'Kamusta ka na?', 'Kumain ka na ba?'. Minsan naman may 'I love you', 'Mahal kita', I love you too', 'Mahal din kita' o 'Miss na miss na kita'. Nanjan pa minsan yung mga "Endearments" like 'Baby', 'Honey', 'Mahal', at kung ano-ano pa. Pero ang malaking tanong, masarap nga ba talaga ang magmahal? Para sa akin? Isang malaking, Hindi. 

Hindi masarap magmahal. Walang masarap dito lalo na kung sasaktan ka lang din ng taong minahal mo. I may sound bitter to you pero that's my opinion. I've never been happy. Kahit kilig, wala akong naramdaman. Baka pag dumaloy yung boltahe ng kuryente sa katawan ko, ikamatay ko pa. Hindi ko naranasang makipag hawak kamay sa paglalakad, except pag tumatawid ako. Halikan? Sa pinge ba counted? Yakap? depende if umiiyak ako. Comfort bruh! Pag kino-comfort lang ako. Yung mga text messages? Di ako mahilig mag cellphone. Siguro, the last time I use my phone was 5 years ago pa. Wala din kaming endearments. First name basis kami. See? There's nothing romantic happened to me. As in wala.

By the way, I'm Camille Estrada Fontanilla. The girl who doesn't believe in forever. Walang ganyan guys. Seryoso. Umaasa lang kayo sa umpisa dahil anjan sila. Tignan niyo, once mawala yang mga yan, Nganga kayo. Hindi ako bitter ha. Aminin ko, nagka-boyfriend ako. Kaso wala eh, iniwan ako. Nasa akin ang sisi kahit siya ang biglang nawala. Ako daw ang dahilan kung bakit kami naghiwalay. Ako daw yung dahilan kung bakit nasira ang buhay niya. Ako daw ang dahilan kung bakit nawala ang mga pangarap niya. Pero, ako din naman. Sirang-sira ang buhay ko. Kung nahirap sila, mas nahihirapan ako. Hindi ako perpekto. Nagkakamali ako. Pero hindi naman siguro tama na sa akin ibalik lahat ng sisi diba? 

Wala silang alam. Si Henry ang naging buong mundo ko. Nakita niya ako sa kung paano niya ko gustong makita at hindi niya minsan nakita si Camille na suplada, matapobre at mayabang. Ang nakita niya ay yung Camille na mapagmahal, mabait at makulit. We're bestfriends since bata pa lang kami. Hanggang pagdating ng high school. Ayun, nagka-mabutihan kami at na-inlove kami sa isa't-isa. Naging saksi dun ay ang mga kaibigan naming dalawa. Si Luisa Vergara, ang bunso ng barkada. Si Francis Tecson, bunsong kapatid ni Henry, Jeffrey Go na pinsan nila Francis at Henry at sina Coleen at Valeen Cruz, ang mga pinsan ko.  Wala akong nilihim sa kanila. Magmula sa unang araw ng panliligaw ni Henry sa akin.

Nasa garden kami noon ng bahay nila Luisa. All girls hang-out. So kaming girls lang ang dapat nandun. Friday night ngayon but instead of bar hopping, mas pinili namin mag stay indoors para makapagrelax ng konti. Foodtrip tapos konting swimming. Nakaka stress kaya yung pag-aaral. Student council president pa ko. Stressful diba? Eh ayun nga, so habang nagja-jamming kami, pumasok si Manang pining (Katulong nila Luisa), may bisita daw. Nung pinapasok, nagulat kami kasi nandun si Jeffrey, Francis at Henry. May mga dala silang cake, baloons at bouquet ng blue roses. May dalawa silang kasama na may bitbit ng gitara. Maya-maya, sa signal ni Henry, tumugtog sila kuya na may gitara. 

~ I had a dream the other night
About how we only get one life
Woke me up right after two
Stayed awake and stared at you
So I wouldn't lose my mind

And I had the week that came from hell
And yes I know that you could tell
But you're like the net under the ledge
When I go flying off the edge
You go flying off as well

And if you only die once I wanna die with
You got something I need
In this world full of people there's one killing me
And if we only die once, (hey)
I wanna die with you (you, you, you)
You got something I need
In this world full of people there's one killing me
And if we only die once, (hey)
I wanna die with you (you, you)

Last night I think I drank too much, yeah
Call it our temporary crutch, hey
With broken words I've tried to say
Honey don't you be afraid
If we got nothing we got us (Yeah)

And if you only die once I wanna die with
You got something I need
In this world full of people there's one killing me
And if we only die once, (hey)
I wanna die with you (you, you, you)
You got something I need
In this world full of people there's one killing me
And if we only die once, (hey)
I wanna die with you (you, you, you)

I know that we're not the same
But I'm so damn glad that we made it
To this time, this time, now (yeah)

You got something I need
Yeah in this world full of people there's one killing me
And if we only die once I wanna die with you (heeyy)
You got something I need
In this world full of people there's one killing me
And if we only die once, (hey)
I wanna die with you (you, you, you)
You got something I need
In this world full of people there's one killing me
And if we only die once, (hey)
I wanna die with you (you, you, you)

If we only die once (hey) I wanna die with
If we only live once I wanna live with you ~