Songs for the Captors

Doubt

A/N: Redo because the original is trash.

~~~Starting point~~~

You wonder if anyone would ever learn about you. You know that you have descendants from the various buckets you've filled during drone season but you're not sure if any of them actually made it to the Mother Grub. Maybe one did, at least. But you wonder if they would ever grow curious about you and try to find out more about you. You're not sure if you want that so much either. Sure, you're the Psiioniic, but you're also a slave, a murderer, and a loser killed by the Vast Glub of all things after being shoved into something that you unknowingly helped build. How would that sound to someone searching for a potential role model? The perfect role model is undoubtedly not an immature little shit who set up his own death at the age of 6.4 sweeps.

Scared of my own image/scared of my immaturity

You think the coolest thing you could ever tell your descendant if you ever met them was how much fun it was testing your limits. You hated your psiioniics when you were younger, knew that were a part of you that would never go away, so you blamed everything on them, including the voices. You were always secretly scared though that one day they would quit on you because you depended on them so much. It still scares you to this day.

Scared of my own ceiling

Fear will kill you one day. You've grown more paranoid as you gotten older and you're already dead but fear will literally end your life because the voices are still always yelling at you. You have a moirail-her name's Handmaid and you remember her from somewhere­-and she's wonderful with helping. You have anxiety and uncertainty because you don't know what can happen. You have little control over yourself and your emotions and you'll never know how to stop it. You can't even count the amount of times you've shocked her during a panic attack or just during a crying session. But she takes it in strides and pets you until you fall back asleep. It's always during your sleep that something freaks you out.

Fear might be the death of me/Fear leads to anxiety/Don't know what's inside of me

"HM?" You mumble one night after waking back up and she doesn't sleep much during the night so you know she's awake.

"Hmm?" She hums in response and you scoot closer to her. She holds you tighter and you allow yourself to relax a little.

"If we ever get theparated, will you promithe that you won't forget about me?" You sigh and she flicks your horn, making you spark unhappily.

"I would never. I'm too pitifully pale for you." She scolds and you lay your head back down on her lap, pouting because she flicked your horn and you can still feel the pain, "Stop pouting and believe in me."

"You're not a ghotht, HM, I can't jutht not believe in you." You smirk and she sighs, flicking your horn again, "Thtop that."

"You force me to with your smart ass mouth. Now go back to sleep so I can continue thinking."

"About what?"

"I'll tell you in the morning."

Don't forget abou-bou-bou-bou-bout me x2/Even when I doubt you/I'm no good without you, no, no

"Is it worse?" Handmaid asks you one day because she's noticed you stopped eating all of your food.

"A little." You mumble between some grapes.

"Voices?" She takes one of your grapes and you glare a bit. You worked hard for these grapes.

"They're louder and it'th a lot more demeaning." You mumble and she smiles softly, sitting next to you.

"Can I teach you a trick? I don't hear voices-except for Lord English's-and I learned how to drown him out with a little trick I learned."

You blink and nod, sitting on the floor with her when she waves you over.

Temperature is dropping x2/I'm not sure if I can/see this ever stopping/shaking hands with the dark parts of my thoughts, no/You are all that I've got, no

"You've ever done yoga?" Handmaid smiles and you frown at her.

"Yoga'th for hippieth." You snort and she shoves at you lightly.

"I'll take that as a 'no'. We're doing yoga today because it's relaxing. It works for me."

"Why can't we be like normal people and drink?"

"No liver destruction while you're around me. Now, come on, stretch with me so I can show you simple stuff for you to remember if we ever get separated again."

Don't forget abou-bou-bou-bou-bout me x2/Even when I doubt you/I'm no good without you, no, no

Eventually, the two of you actually do get separated because the dream bubbles shift around again, causing you two to lose each other. You do remember everything she's taught you and everything you've talked about. You just hope you made an big enough impact for her to never forget you either.

Hey! Hey!/Don't forget about me, no x4

~~~Finish line~~~

A/N: This...This is better. I like sassy, sad Psii.

Underline #1: We all should obviously know who this is, come on, guys.

Underline #2: Headcanon that Psii built the Helmsman block along with Darkleer because headcanon that Sollux got his coding skills from Psii.

Underline #3: Tear In My Heart chapter reference, huehue

Underline #4: Love your liver, care for your liver, pet your liver on occasion. - A quote from Sollux the Writer