Austin Carlile: I want a baby with you

I finished cleaning the final dish and turned around to a silent house.  A slight frown formed on my face and I bit my lip.

Why was the house so quiet?

Austin and I had agreed to babysit for my sister.  Her two year old son was a handful and I was puzzled as to why I could not hear Timmy or Austin.  After we had had lunch, Austin had taken Timmy upstairs to look at his guitars and piano.  Earlier I had been able to hear Timmy experimenting with the piano and giggling when it made a sound at his touch.  I had snuck up the stairs to find the toddler seated on Austin’s lap in front of the piano, guiding Timmy’s tiny hands over the keys.  From his lips the words of My Understanding’s began to fill the air, a small smile forming across mine.  I left them to it then, but now no gentle laughter or music filled the air.  I silently climbed the stairs and head straight for Austin’s music room.  I peeked in to find the piano unattended and his guitars all on their stands in the empty room.  Closing the door I checked the bedroom Austin and I shared.  It was light and the blinds were not covering the windows, allowing all sunlight to flow into the room straight onto the bed where both Austin and Timmy lay. 

Austin had his left arm stretched out towards the side of the bed, while his right arm rested on his stomach.  Timmy’s head rested on Austin’s left bicep, the shape of his head fitting perfectly into his arm.  The tattoos on Austin’s toned arms perfected the picture, proving the stereotype evidently wrong.  Austin’s head was facing down towards Timmy’s, which was looking up.  If their eyes had been open they would have been looking at each other, their faces inches apart.

A tear rolled down my cheek.  I knew Austin had wanted a child for a few years now.  We had talked about it after being together for a year, but I had not wanted another person in our family of two.  I had a career that I wanted to focus on and Austin certainly was not going to give up his for anything.  But seeing him so vulnerable and so helpless towards Timmy was making me change my mind.  I didn’t want this moment to ever end.  Austin and I loved Timmy like he was our own and everything in my body was yearning for a child of my own at this moment in time.  Austin stirred and caught me standing there, my cheeks stained from tears.  He was unable to move, but his face etched concern and he beckoned me over. 

I climbed onto the bed and lay my body parallel to Austin’s long one.  My elbow supporting my head so I could still take in the scene below me.  His hand ran over my cheek removing any tears that had were still evident. 

‘Babe?’ His voice was filled with concern.

‘Hhmmm’ it was all I could manage, I was afraid my voice would break if I spoke.

‘What’s wrong? Why are you crying?’  I buried my head into his chest.  His hand found my hair and caressed it while I let the tears fall.  When I eventually stopped crying my eyes found his again.   

‘Look at you’ my voice was barely above a whisper.  A small laugh escaped Austin’s lips and he turned to look at the sleeping toddler. 

‘He’s perfect isn’t he?’ My eyes found Timmy’s sleeping form and a smile formed onto my lips.

‘He’s the most amazing thing in this world……. Austin?’

‘Yea babe?’  His head turned towards me but his eyes never left Timmy’s frame. 

‘Austin, I love you, with all my heart’ his eyes landed on mine once again.  ‘It makes my heart melt how you act when you are with Timmy and I want to make you that happy.  Before, when I was crying it was out of pure joy because I finally know what I want.  I can’t ignore the feelings I get when Timmy is with us.  I want us to be happy the way we are with him all the time.  I want a baby with you Austin.’ 

His face didn’t move for a few seconds but it soon found its way into the biggest smile I have ever seen.  He gently removed Timmy from his body and tackled me down onto the bed, his smile not faltering.

‘I love you so much!!’

‘I love you too Austin.’