Latch (A sequel to What Is Love?)

cheers to living

I woke up the next morning feeling quite suicidal. I don't know why. But it was quite normal for me ,since I felt like this everyday.

but I didn't want to feel like this. not today. not right now. because last night was perfect.

FLASHBACK;

the whole car ride with kian.
the music blasted in his car.
the windows rolled down, my hair flying all over the place because of the wind.
both of us singing to random songs.

end of flashback

and then it was over. and I would have to be once again by myself, while Paris was out at work.
another lonely and pathetic day of living.

I slowly got out of my bed, took a glance in the mirror and felt disgusted with what I saw.

I stopped staring at myself and got dressed. examining my wrists as I rubbed my scars from where I use to cut.

when I was done getting dressed I grabbed my car keys and decided to leave and go get breakfast at the nearest cafe.

when I arrived at the cafe I ordered the usual. a French vanilla coffee and a Danish.

when I was done eating I stayed there and tried to kill time by going on all my social networks, and just sitting down and relaxing.

everything was perfectly fine till I saw kian walk into the cafe that I was in.
I tried to not make myself noticeable but unfortunately he saw me and sat down next to me.

"hey you're that girl that I gave a ride home yesterday right?" he said with the biggest grin on his face.

I nodded yes and it was silent for a couple of minutes. all you could hear was coffee brewing, people talking, and kian lawley's heavy breathing.
awkward right?

"so I never really got to know you" he said while trying to break the silence.

"there's nothing you need to know about me. I hardly know you" I said sounding kind of harsh.

"well I know that you're in a university" he said while smiling at me.

I looked at him all weird and took a sip of my coffee.
"okay yeah but that's obvious"

"okay then uhm so what's your story" he said while taking a sip of his hot chocolate.

"my story?"

"yeah your story like why you're here. what you're afraid of. or what made you into a stronger person. I don't know, just what's your story"

"my story" I said while trying to not make my story sound boring, "well, I'm not from America. but I moved here when I was quite young, and then a couple of years later after high school I found out that I got accepted to one of the universities in Orlando. so I moved down here with my best friend Paris. uhm I'm not really afraid of anything, like some people are afraid of dying or they're afraid of oblivion. well, I'm just not afraid of anything. what made me a stronger person?" I asked sounding confused.

he shook his head and waited for me to continue.
"nothing. I haven't changed I'm still weak, and I still think about dying every single day of my life. but you don't need to know why because that's none of your business"

"I'm sorry that you think that way" he said with a frown on his face. "but what makes you feel so weak?"

I looked at him and sighed. "I just don't think that there's a reason why I should live. nobody cares about me. and nobody would care if I was to die tomorrow or today"

he grabbed my hand and looked at me with a sad look on his face. "I don't know you that well but I would like to get and know you better because I know that you're a great person. and one day you're going to be so happy that you're alive I promise you that" he said while standing up and kissing my cheek.

"why don't we ditch this place and go somewhere fun. we can get to know each other better" he said with a smile on his face.

I smiled back and nodded my head in agreement.

"hey kian?"

"yeah?" he asked and looked at me concerned.

"so what's your story?" I asked and waited for him to respond.

"my story Hm.. well I'm just another YouTuber who decided to do a collar channel with a bunch of guys who are now my best friends" he seemed so happy to share his story.

"that's cool" I said and smiled at him, and he smiled back. he seemed very happy.

him being happy made me happy. and that meant something special to me.

most of the time it got really awkward because we both were trying to figure out what we should say to one another.

but we talked and ranted about complete nonsense. which was pretty funny because whenever he would say something he was never really serious.

he just seemed to me that he got high off of living, and he knew how to stay happy and positive.

and maybe I could try and be like him, and try and not make my life seem like hell. maybe being happy could be the start of something new.

♡

another boring chapter yeah I know. well anyways thanks for reading and I'll it won't be this boring for the next chapter. I'll figure something out.
but thanks for reading (-: vote comment do whatever floats your boat. and have an amazing day.