Dear Friend,
Today was the first day back at school.
I saw Claire again. She ran straight over to me and linked our arms and didn't let me go all day. She even stood outside the bathroom till I got out. I know I should appreciate having someone who wanted to spend time with me but with Claire it wasn't like that at all.
I was never really interested in making friends much. Last year Claire approached me in the school library and said hello. Actually, what she said was “O-M-G, I love, erm, Jane Eyre? That's a classic right? Totally loved it.” I lowered it down from my face and tried not to blush furiously. I didn't know what to say so I smiled politely. Claire proceeded to dump all her problems on me that day, about how her friends were such bitches and how she would look like a loner now that she didn't have anyone. That she didn't want to end up like me, no offence. I didn't talk much. I'm more of a listener.
I didn't particularly want Claire as a friend but I knew the moment I lowered that book that it was inevitable. The good thing about her was that she didn't care about my life or how I was feeling. She cared a lot more about 'those heels' from 'that magazine' or 'that boy'. We went around together at school but neither of us bothered to call during the holidays.
I have a new english teacher. His name is Mr. Wells. His class is the only I really enjoy, firstly because it's AP English so Claire isn't in my class and secondly because he's such a great guy. He's quite young and all the girls in my class have a crush on him. I could probably just listen to him forever. Not because I have a creepy thing for him, I just like hearing what he has to say because a lot of the time it makes craploads of sense. And yes for those wondering, craploads is now an official unit of measurement. This morning he told us to “Stop being a pussy – be productive.” He doesn't do that 'sit in alphabetical order' thing so I was forced to choose a place. I ended up next to this really tall lanky kid with a goofy kind of smile. Claire teased me a lot last year because she was sure that he liked me. I started to notice things too and it made me uncomfortable because I didn't really like attention, especially not male. But I wasn't going to judge anybody so I slipped into the empty seat next to him. He greeted me with a huge grin. He seemed really stiff for the rest of the class. I noticed in my peripheral vision his peeking sheepishly at me every now and then.
“So you're Emily, right?” he asked after class as we were packing up our stuff.
I was shocked that he's initiated converstation. I just nodded and silently pleaded that he'd either say something else or leave me alone.
“Cool. I'm Derek. I've seen you around. You're friends with Claire aren't you?”
“You could call it that,” I said nervously. He started so laugh and I relaxed.
“You're not like her at all”
I raised my eyebrow and cocked my head. He wasn't much of a charmer, really.
“That was supposed to be a compliment, I think. Not that Claire's not cool! She's really cool – awesome actually, yeah. Not that you're not awesome since you're not like her because you are so I guess you are like her. But you're prettier. I mean-” He was digging a hole and I couldn't help cringe.
“It's okay! I know what you mean,” I said, awkwardly patting him on the shoulder. I smiled and shuffled away not turning back but feeling his eyes burning into the back of my shirt.
Word had gotten out about Mr Wells and of course Claire was one of the first to hear. She grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me saying “You got the hot new teacher! I am totes jello. You get to stare at that all class. Maybe I can, like, transfer class or something? Then we could be together all the time! Plus I could get a better chance with Wells.”
The fact that Claire could possibly think that she had a chance with Mr. Wells was unfathomable to me. I was embarassed for her. I did feel bad when I slipped out a snigger though. “You're just Gello cause he won't want you like he'd like me!” Claire snapped. She seemed genuine about it too. That was the worst of the whole thing. I wasn't phased. In fact I barely realised that she intended to insult me until she threw her books to the floor dramatically and embraced me right there in the middle of the hall.
“What are you doing?” I said. She didn't seem to understand rhetoric. “I'm hugging you! I'm so sorry, Ems, I didn't mean it!” She cried loudly, just to be sure that everyone could see how compasionate she was. I managed to untangle myself from her and backed away slowly. From then on she asked to the bathroom every english class and waved at me desperately through the glass window in the door.
I didn't really know why I stood Paula. I could take the teasing and I would have been just fine on my own. I was an only child and I'd been rejected for most of my childhood so I was akin to it. I had taught myself to enjoy my own company. My dad complained about that a lot. He wanted me to be top of the class with lots of friends. It worried him more than it worried me.
Yours, Emily.
