Complicated Minds (TheOrionSound X Reader)

Confessing to him ~ Chapter 2

Trigger Warning:

This story has mentioning of Self-Harm, Depression and other related topics. You have been warned! If anything that is mentioned upsets you please leave a comment and I am sorry if it does. Thank you for reading.

(Y/N) = your name

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(Y/N)'s PoV

After a while of getting to know each other, Lizzie and Joel had left back to their place, leaving me and Oli together. Nothing had been said for about 5 minutes, all that could be heard was silence.

"O-Oli" I stuttered "Oli, c-can I tell you something?" I nervously asked him. "Only if you want to (Y/N)" he replied, that cute smile of his boosting my confidence. "W-well to tell you the truth, I'm only alive now because of you. You've saved me countless times even tho you didn't know it" I uttered, wondering what his reaction would be.

Nothing was spoken, he just looked at me with sorrow gesturing for me to continue. "I've been feeling depressed for a while and nothing will help. I've been to a psychiatrist for treatment but all they could do for me was put me on anti-depressants. When I get like that all I do is sit there, I put your YouTube videos on and it just calms me, makes me feel... I'm not sure what I would call it actually but I know that helps me. I have a few friends I ask for help but some of them don't understand. Others know what is going on, what I'm feeling but are too focused on school and stopping themselves from getting depressed. Most of my time is spent on helping one of my friends who has really bad depression and thankfully hasn't resorted to self-harm, also my university work has been coming at me right, left and centre. I'm just so stressed at the minute and with the little time I have free I catch up on your videos and sometimes anime which keeps me laughing."

When I finished talking and expressing myself. Oli just stared at me, they were two emotions I could gather from him: sympathy and concern. "Let me ask you something, why did you tell me of all people?" he questioned "Well this may sound silly but I... I guess it's because I trust you. I used to talk to Perry about my problems and other random topics but once he started a placement at a school teaching chemistry he got so busy with planning lessons, teaching and making YouTube videos that he had no time for me. The last time I spoke to him was Insomnia59 which was December time." I said to him lowering my head.

Oli placed his hand on my arm making me wince in pain. "Sorry! Are you ok?" He asked. 'Should I show him, I don't want him to worry anymore about me. What will he think of me if I do show him? Oh, I don't know what to do, I'm so confused.' I thought to myself not replying to Oli's question. "(Y/N) I asked if you are ok? and aren't you a bit hot with that hoodie on?" Oli asked again, this time asking another question as well. 'He is starting to get worried now I can tell, I'm gonna show him and just hope for the best' I said to myself in my head "O-Oli" I said then pulled my jumper off leaving me in a short-sleeved top, revealing hundreds of cut all over my arms.

Oli's PoV

"Sorry! Are you ok?" I asked her while getting concerned for her "(Y/N), I asked if you are ok? and aren't you a bit hot with that hoodie on?" I asked again, this time asking another question as well. "O-Oli," She said getting my full attention then pulled her jumper off leaving her in a short-sleeved top, revealing hundreds of cuts and scars all over her arms. I started to feel sick at the sight but I knew I had to help her. Before I knew it, I was crying and so was (Y/N). "I-is that all of them?" I asked hoping the answer was yes. I could tell that she couldn't tell me verbally "If you don't have the strength the tell then just show me" I told her. (Y/N) nodded her head in understanding and pulled up her top halfway, revealing tonnes more cuts on her stomach, then pulled up her leggings showing more on her legs.

The sight itself was unforgettable, I couldn't believe she was that broken to be able to do something like this. I grabbed her hand and brought it up to my face to which I then kissed. "(Y/N), I promise that I will help you no matter what happens, I will stand by your side till the very end. If it's your wish, I will follow you everywhere even if your throne crumbles, and your shiny crown turns to rust." I said to her, looking into her eyes that were a beautiful (E/C) colour. "Thank you, Oli, I owe you so much," she replied wiping away her tears.

"Let me just give you some advice. If you are crying, fight against it! If you are regretting, walk forward! It is the only way to move on in life, never forget this (Y/N)" I told her with a smile forming on my face. 'I hope she never does this again and that I will be able to help her' I thought in the back of my head for a minute.

"Oli can we watch a movie or something, please?" she asked putting her jumper back on and cuddling up to me on the sofa. "Of cause we can. It will help us both relax, it's has been an emotional day today," I said opening Netflix and placing my arm around her. After looking through the suggestions we decided to watch Tokyo Ghoul, an anime that neither of us has watched.

(I HAVE WATCHED IT AND DAMN IS FRICKING AWESOME!)