blue velvet | sebastian stan

R E A L L I F E

okay i lied, instead of making just one really long real life chapter i'm going to make a series of short real life chapters. ya feel me?

lienna

"i just don't understand why you would do this to me!" sebastian yelled from the other room.

"oh my god sebastian, it was an accident" i called back to him.

"accident? you don't accidentally eat someone else's cinnamon toast crunch" he pouted.

"i'll buy you some more. chillax" i leaned in to kiss him.

"you left me with cocoa puffs" he grumbled but nonetheless, he returned my kiss.

everyday i wonder what would have happened if i never got the gig in the avengers, would i have still met seb? honestly, i think i would. we have a tether that pulls us towards each other.

"ow" i said, "did you just throw cereal at me?"

"it was only one cocoa puff" sebastian replied.

i'm in love with him.

he never leaves my mind, he's always there; mentally if not physically. it's just incomprehensible. he's my one stable force, my one stability in a world filled with chaos and i so desperately need that in my life. i love him so much for that. i'm in love with him and i can't believe i've only just realised it.

this feeling is so strange; it stretches throughout my whole body. it's overwhelming, yet makes me feel complete. it has no bound nor length nor depth; it's just absolute. it feels as though i'm in a dangerous fire, yet i'm completely safe at the same time. it feels as though someone's given me peace. it feels as though my heart is dancing around my chest; and a hole, i was never aware was there, has been filled. i feel so light, like i'm on top of the world yet my heart is constricting and it feels as if there's no oxygen in my lungs.

it's strange – frightening even – how you can go from someone being a complete stranger, to then being completely infatuated by them and wondering how it ever was that you were able to live without them, because you sure as hell couldn't imagine being without them now. i know we're only young, and most people would consider me to be foolish and naïve, but it's true when i say that i love him more than i could ever love myself. he's my best friend and, as cheesy as it sounds, he's my anchor. my one stability in this world filled with chaos.

but then again, he just threw a cocoa puff at me so...

"i'm so handsome and brooding, i'm surprised your ovaries haven't exploded yet," he laughed as he shoved some more cereal into his mouth.

"hey we have dinner with the cast today so you better be ready by 5:30" i warned.

"i was born ready" he replied.

"seb, you don't even have a shirt on" i pointed out.

"shirts are for basic people" he rebutted.

i scoffed and headed out of the kitchen, leaving sebastian to his own devices. i decided to pick out my outfit right now so that i won't be scrambling to find one later.