The Pretty Devil

Hold my hand as we walk through the forest🥀 (Yes.. I was type dumb)

First off, I want you to clear your mind.. what I'm about to say may or may not be confusing.
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I am Optimistic, Outgoing, Ambitious, Fair, and Funny. I'm the nicest girl you'll meet. I cared about people and their feelings, I cared about fitting in and making everyone happy but now I just don't give a fuck. Simple. Everything in life is temporary just like life itself. People come and go all the time but I didn't come up with this mindset until my sophomore year of high school or was it my freshman year? Let's talk about my freshman year, shall we? I moved to Coffee County, Douglas, Ga and of course I was the new girl at a freshman campus. Even though the campus was quite huge I was instantly noticed. I was so eager to have friends and experience high school the right way. So cliche. I started messing around with a football player named Derrick, whom I've grown to love and care about, but this was before my wicked ways of treating boys like toys. As a matter of fact he treated me like I was, a toy is what I meant, I instantly dive into a relationship with him telling him I love him and shit Lol I was so pathetic. But people saw that I was dating him and I gained clout but then suddenly he was dating a cheerleader. This story isnt quite clear but only because I'm over the betrayal or can I even call it that? Anyway after that he was still talking to me wanting to be my friend or what not so we were still trying to become pretty close- to this day we still talk; occasionally- even though he tried to make the situation easier I was hurt. But he wasn't the problem it's actually started my sophomore year in Newark, Nj , where I was born and raised. I attended school with my middle school crush, Jason, all the girls liked Jason. He looked good asf well he still do. He's just an A S S H O L E. My first day there he talked to me and I actually stayed calm and just let him shoot his shot. But eventually I gave in and we dated. I liked our relationship, he was my official boyfriend like I considered him my forever 💍. But deeper into the relationship he started acting up. I noticed this lie he would use saying " He's at Central High talking to the football coach" Lol. How I knew it was a lie? Because one day he came over to my aunt house with his friend and his girlfriend and his aunt called him and that was his response. It was all fun and games until he texted me that Lol. I didn't think much of it, well I'm lying because I did but I was in denial, I didn't want to believe he lied to me so I overlooked it. We all know the saying "What happens in the dark will soon come to the light." Well my instincts wasn't lying, I walked into, I'm not sure of her position so imma just say Guidance Counselor, I walked into the counselor's office and she began telling me how she liked me better than the girl he be kissing in her office..... YES.. she said that. I laughed half jokingly though because I wouldn't think a STAFF would say something like that solemnly, ya know? Meanwhile I've been having issues with his ex-girlfriend and her Bestfriend. Nevertheless, beyond the drama with them, his friends was leading me on with hints which I didn't catch onto. Like when I walked into the separated gym room,where we would play volleyball in, and they started laughing and asking "did you peep that?" amongst each other. I just looked around trying hard to catch on before I finally asked peep what? She asked me if I noticed Jason was acting strange lately. I totally agreed explaining what I noticed and she told me what they were laughing at- one of the girls Jason was messing with was sitting in there and when I walked in she walked out, they were also telling me that she recently told Jason that he better not have no other girl kissing and hugging up on him. LMAOO. I still haven't addressed him about it yet but I begin fishing for more information so I asked his guy friends,who are terrible liars, they finally told me who he messed with but it wasn't the girl that was in the gym. This time I asked him and he told me. As a matter of fact he showed me a picture of her- disrespectful- AND.. as a matter of fact that wasn't the first time, speaking of that little bitch she walked up to me one time WITH JASON STANDING BEHIND ME and gon' say " If that was my nigga I'll keep him in check".... I didn't know what to say I looked back at him and just stared at me- Strike Two- I then got into a fight with his ex-girlfriend's Bestfriend and she got a concussion, I got kicked out that school. While I was kicked out everybody reporting every single thing Jason does with receipts! -Strike Three; You're out!- But before that fight I broke up with him, as needed, I got the information I needed, along with the verification so I called it quits. At that moment I didn't feel hurt although I knew I was , I didn't even cry about it... I was just angry. I didn't care about no one or anything I lashed out on everybody including my mother. I just felt like everyone was against me and I had to protect myself. Jason.. you cut me deep and if that's what you wanted to do then hey, I want to give you a round of applause because you succeeded. But people you know what my dumb ass did anyway?.. You're gonna laugh.. LMAOO I went back to his no good lying ass. And not to mention every time I ask him about the situation he made me feel crazy as if I was high or drunk. I actually dated him AGAIN! 🤦🏽‍♀️ I know I know it was dumb but I felt like I was on a mission to hurt him. I don't know if I was successful but he broke up with me and I was totally fine with it. I begin playing with boys emotions, leading them on, doing whatever I can- except fucking- to get them wrapped around my finger which ALWAYS worked, and then I break them. Break them; the way he did me. Breaking them down mentally, and make them emotionally unstable. Having them coming to my school to curse me out or see why I'm ignoring them, to see where did they go wrong and I loved to reply back with the cliche answer , " Listen It's me not you". I still text those guys occasionally they all "missed" me so when I feel like it, I entertain them 🤷🏽‍♀️. As for Jason I did the same; drag him through the dirt. I done grimy things to him, I didn't give 2 fucks about his feelings when I was in action but don't get me wrong I love him, I truly care about him. However I do not chase him, I may skip or maybe fuck around and speed walk but that's only because deep down I still like him. I am no longer gullible, and stupid. I've became cold-hearted and I get bored with guys easily. I'm not proud to say that it's true.