Can I Start Again?

Chapter Two

Flashback

January 4, 2014

Lights are flashing everywhere, making me more disoriented than I already am. The bartender pours me another shot of tequila, which I didn't even ask for. My rational side tell me I shouldn't drink anymore, but I can't help but take another shot, I'm already too far gone. I hold my breath and take the shot, instantly, my throat burns and my mouth numbs.

"What's a pretty girl like you doing here all alone?" The bartender asks as he leans in close to me.

I look to the right and then the left almost falling off the barstool "I'm not here alone David's gonna be here in," I look at my wrist, which doesn't even have a watch on it, "I don't know."

"David is?" he asks and pours me another drink.

"My fiancé," I stutter.

He leans in closer, "What's he doin' letting you out of the house alone."

I laugh and lean too far back in my chair suddenly i'm falling backward before I hit the ground a pair of strong arms catches me and sets me back on my feet. It's David, I have enough sense to tell he's not happy. He sets the stool upright and pulls out his wallet, placing a twenty-dollar bill on top of my many shot glasses.

David drapes his arm over my shoulder and escorts me away from the bar. The loud music pounds in my ear as we try to dodge all the crazy, wasted people on the dance floor. We finally make it out of the building, the cold air feels great on my hot face. I stumble to David's car and we drive home. The car ride is silent the entire ride I can't handle the silence so try to turn on the radio, but David swipes my hand away.

//

I feel empty, I've been throwing up for the past hours and I can't move off the cold tile of the bathroom floor. I hear footsteps and open my eyes to find a glass of water in front of my face I take a sip and place it on the counter. David hasn't said a word this entire time and i'm worried, I follow him out the the bathroom to find a packed suitcase on our bed.

"What are you doing?"

He throws a pair of socks violently into the suitcase, "Leaving."

"What, why?" I sound more urgent than I mean to sound.

He stops packing and looks at me, "You wanna know the truth?"

I nod my head.

"I-I can't do this Meredith- the drinking, the moping around about the patient you lost weeks ago. I feel like you never have time for me anymore, every time I make plans something always comes up. When's the last time we even spent time together?"

I try to think about the last time, but I can't.

"David I'm a surgeon I work 48-hour shifts, my job is unpredictable and demanding. I can't always be with you!" The yelling makes my head pound even more than it is already.

David says nothing and zips up his suitcase. "I think we need to spend some time apart."

He places his arms on the suitcase as if he's bracing himself. He has a pain in his eyes that I 've never seen before.

"If you don't understand the demands of being a surgeon...saving lives, you know I think we should!"

He pulls the suitcase off the bed causing a loud thumping noise.

He looks at me with pain in his eyes, "Ok."

His tone sounds softer which makes me calm down a little.