Stranger's Eyes

Stranger's Eyes Chapter 1

Darkness filled my mind and crowded the room. It was like an intoxication, a numbness. Each breath of mine felt short and lifeless. My mind was like an empty space filled with bare walls, and grey hues. A blank canvas with no motivation. I was lost. 

Lost, not in the way you lose your bearings, or the way you can't read a map, or find your way home. I was lost in myself, lost in life. I was empty inside with no sense of direction, no hope, no fear. Nothing. It was the kind of emptiness that ate away at you. It ate away at my half lit heart.

A sigh of frustration was all I could manage as I stared out the living room window, gaze lost in overpowering thoughts. Eyes dull, mind weak, I pulled myself away as the rain began to fall. Time was never an issue anymore. Nowhere to be, nowhere to go. Just hour after hour in this cage I called home. I'd never felt more trapped.  A stroll to the kettle seemed a past time of mine. A simple cup of tea, was the only comforting thing of the day. Each day was the same. I woke up alone to an empty, quiet house, I ate breakfast, had some tea, showered, dressed, and sat around. I'd read a little, wrote a little, and daydreamed about another life. Some days I would enter the outside world.

I was brought up drifting from one place to another, in and out of foster care. I don't remember much from the few years I knew my parents. My father was an alcoholic, and never around, but my mother was wild and free, always wearing a smile. She oozed happiness, but was hooked on drugs. I was put into care at the age of 5, and my mother disappeared a few years later, assumed dead. Eventually I escaped that messy world never looking back. I went to college. I even got my own place. But I had always been the loner, the quiet one, that one that no one noticed, awkward and uneasy. I found it hard to fit in, yet my mind was full of imagination and bursting with thoughts, and stories. I saw the lines on someones forehead and imagined what kind of life they had.

I lived in a dark, poetic world. A world of my own, where my words and dreams came to life in a disorderly dance.

Somedays I hated being alone. Other days, I craved it. 

As I stared out the kitchen window, stroking my long black hair, I imagined the birds outside sitting perched on their tree singing a happy tune. But instead the rain just poured, and poured, each drop like a little gem clinging onto the window. I felt like I was stuck in a groundhog day, most days. Living the same day over and over again, in my little nest, my comfort zone. Some days it felt impossible to go out into the big, cold world.

I finished college a couple of years ago, and had small odd jobs here and there, but nothing permanent. Sometimes I felt like I was just drifting through time, unable to figure out my purpose. But something needed to change.

The rain seemed to have slowed down, but the room felt darker. I startled to a loud ringing noise. I ran over and picked up the phone.

"Hello?" The line was silent.

"Hello? who is it?" I waited for an answer. Silence.

"Hello? who's there?" Nothing. I put the phone down. The prank calls had gotten more frequent lately, but I thought nothing of it since I lived in a college town. I finished making my tea, and went back into the living room. Glancing outside, I noticed a black car blocking my driveway, with someone inside. It didn't bother me too much though as my car broke down a few months ago, and I couldn't afford to pay for the repairs, so I resorted to using public transport to get around.

I ran upstairs to quickly shower, and got dressed. Even with all the rain it was still warm and humid outside, so I put on my favorite white sundress, with a cardigan, and my converse.

I skipped breakfast, and grabbed my keys, heading out the front door. The rain had stopped. I purposely left my umbrella at home, hoping i'd get caught in the rain if it decided to rain again. I walked past the parked car, but the person inside had disappeared. A hint of sunlight crept through the clouds, so I decided it would be nice to walk. There was a warm breeze, that blew my long black hair across my face.

The long walk felt good, and brought warmth and color to my pale skin. I loved the smell after it had just rained. A fresh earthy scent.

As I approached the town, crowds of people flocked in all directions. I quickly headed to the nearest supermarket. I made my way inside, and sped round the aisles, grabbing necessities. At the cash desk, the guy in front seemed weirdly slow, putting in each item into his bag hesitantly. It was frustrating, but as he spoke to the cashier his voice was somewhat calming. It was nice. He was dressed all in black, but I couldn't see his face. He soon left, and I quickly payed for my things, packed them and left too. With nothing else to do I walked back home, hurrying past the teenagers that liked to hang around smoking behind the shops.

~~~~

Back outside the house, the car was still there. Maybe it was the neighbours car. I slowly walked into my house, and packed away the shopping. Back in the living room, I opened a window to let in some of that humid air. I noticed the black car had a person in it again, a man, with the window wound all the way down, staring right at me. I couldn't see details but his glance was fixed directly on me. Maybe he was waiting for someone and he'd got the wrong house. I shut the window, and sat down in my usual spot, waiting a few minutes, and then returned to the window. His glance was still on me. Feeling insecure, I left and entered the kitchen. My heart started beating slightly faster. Being alone had its disadvantages. There was no-one to reassure you, and no-one to call on. Frustration started to boil up inside me.

A knock at the door interrupted my thoughts. I briskly walked over, and opened it with force. Maybe it was just a door salesman or a delivery guy. The doorway was empty. Without hesitation I slammed the door shut, not even noticing whether the staring man was still there in the car. Back in the kitchen, I sat at the table, and buried my head in my arms. I felt drained today, and frustrated. I decided to go take a nap before lunch, so I made my way to the stairs and slowly headed up. I felt a tear run down my cheek, as loneliness crept in like an old wound being prodded at. I stopped halfway up the stairs. Something didn't feel right. I felt a pressure around my mouth. When my eyes focused, I realised something was grasping my mouth. A hand.

I froze. My breathing stopped. My brain stopped functioning. I couldn't process what was happening. I tried to find my hands, but my body was limp and lifeless. A warm breath spread itself onto my frozen neck. "Dont move". A low intense voice whispered into my ear. My hands were tugged away from me and tied behind my back. I started to lose balance. I tried to scream but nothing came out, just a low murmuring. I felt dizzy and sick. The grasp around me tightened, with two arms wrapped securely around me. I struggled a little, but I was losing control. Each breath hurt, like my chest was being crushed. Each heartbeat was louder than the next. We were suddenly on the move, as the staircase became a distant image, and everything else around me slowly disappeared. My eyes couldn't focus anymore. Each breath was becoming more and more exhausting. Everything dulled and faded to black.