Intoxication

It's quite unbelievable really. How could I be so fucking stupid. How could I just sit there, how could not one sensible fucking thought cross my mind. I just stood there staring, probably having a blank face, and I watched it all happen. He died, he was dead. He was gone, lifeless and I just fucking sat there. The only thought that keeps me from going completely insane is that, there was nothing I could do, absolutely nothing.

It was stupid really. The way he died was very stupid. It was kind of a waste if you think about it, but I couldn't say that out loud because 1. I'd sound like a dick and 2. the only person I could tell wasn't here anymore.

So let me tell you the story about how Trevor died.

We had just graduated from hell which some of you may know as "high school", as any normal graduates would have done after graduation, we got shitfaced. We got so fucking shit faced I couldn't even tell you what two plus two was. Anyways, after we went to a few different parties, we (well mostly him) had this brilliant idea to do donuts on his motorcycle, at a Dunkin' Donuts (remember we were fucking shit faced). Now before I get to the bad part that tears me up, I want to explain to you what I meant by it being a waste. Trevor was always thoughtful and courageous, he would give you the shirt off his back if you asked. He never really had a selfish thought cross his mind, he always wanted to do something to help others. Trevor was always a genius, I was in the dumb classes and he was in the smart classes, that's how it always was. So what I mean by it being a waste is that, he should have died by something that people would have been proud of, because when he fell off that motorcycle and snapped his neck, we all knew that wasn't anything to proud of.