Agent Chetiri

Chapter 21

Author's Note: This is another new chapter for you guys!

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We are mere gates, strings of tension waiting to be struck.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Sunlight streamed in from the window and warmed Q's skin as he lay in bed. He shifted slightly but continued to stare up at the ceiling. The events that had transpired last night (and yesterday, for that matter) were surprising and he found them, quite honestly, to be unreal.

He could only stare at the sleeping figure next to him. She was nestled against him, her head resting against his bare shoulder. Alexa looked almost like a child whilst she was asleep, as if she was finally at peace and had nothing to worry about. He thought she looked perfect as she lay here with him, save for the fact that she had lied to him for about a year on who she really was.

Upon arriving at this thought, his view of Alexa began to change again and what he saw now was not as perfect and unblemished as before; she was a liar, tainted by the blood of others. His anger flared up again and he sighed, not wanting to dwell too much on those thoughts now. For now, all that mattered was that his slap-dash rescue mission had actually been a success and she was here, alive and relatively unharmed.

His mind began to drift towards different thoughts, mainly what she really was to him. Q was unsure of what to define her, especially after the events that had unfolded last night. In his mind, it seemed almost indecent to call her his lover. Lovers were somewhat detached, and met sporadically, mostly only for sex. She, on the other hand, had nearly died on several occasions to protect him. He knew her secret about the Agency, and he felt that they both had gone through far too much to have him address her as such. However, Q wasn't too sure of calling her his girlfriend yet either. Initially, he doubted she would even agree to such a thing but at this point, he wasn't even sure anymore.

He glanced down at her and watched her silently for a moment, before placing a hesitant hand on her hair. She stirred slightly, but it did not seem to bother her; rather, it seemed to comfort her. Q smoothed her hair down repeatedly, a gentle motion that caused her to curl up against him and sigh softly. He had no idea what she was feeling and in all honesty, neither did he. Q was assaulted with a barrage of contradictory emotions that were currently forcing him to choose: love her or hate her.

It was undeniable that he did love her, but there was that same anger that still remained. Such a feeling left him in a weird grey area between the two choices and he had no idea what to feel. Panic gripped his chest upon realizing that he was completely unsure of what to do. Oh, how he hated uncertainty! Love, in his eyes, was better if it worked like numbers and equations, in the way that they were precise and had certain foreseeable outcomes. Such consistency, however, did not apply when it came to love. In a split second, he found what seemed to be the best option to his current dilemma- go.

Q carefully slid out of bed and Alexa rested her head against a pillow, not opening her eyes. He moved quietly around the room, threw his old clothes in the laundry bin, and grabbed new ones before folding Alexa's clothes neatly at the foot of the bed. Q wrote her a simple note about having her coffee downstairs but wrote nothing more. She stirred slightly but did not awaken and Q stared silently at her for one moment more. Her dark hair was splayed out against the stark white pillow and for once, she did not look afraid; she looked to be somewhat satisfied.

He let out a sigh before turning to head downstairs. Q felt that he wasn't running, per se. He just needed time to think about what had happened. He proceeded downstairs to make coffee for both of them before he left for work. Q hoped she would see why he left and figured that it would be better to leave her be whilst he was considering his feelings.