Trigger Warning
Based on "Alive" by Cimorelli.
Imagine takes place in Y/N's and Lauren's minds at the same time.
Italic:"Alive"
Bold:Y/N
Underline:Lauren
I sat alone in the cold
In my room that night
My face was red with the tears
Of a thousand and one lonely nights
It's been two and a half years since Lauren left our friendship to be popular. 1,001 nights of crying myself to sleep over the pain she caused. I hate her.
Two and a half years. It's been that long since I started to bully her. Little does she know I'm broken inside without her. I break knowing I cause her pain and sadness. I love her.
No one came
No one called
No one cared
And no one saw
No one came to see me when Lauren put me in the hospital when she break me until I couldn't get up. No one called to see if I was okay when she outed me as gay to the whole school. No one cared about me. I was the school loser. No one saw the self-inflicted wounds I gave myself. They don't see my scars. They don't see me. Maybe I should end it all. Maybe I should kill myself. Everyone would be happier without me. I'll never forgive her. I hate her.
No one came to see me after I put Y/N in the hospital. I couldn't look at myself. I hated myself. No one called to know the truth. No one cared about me, the real me. Only she did. They only want to be around me for my reputation. No one saw the pain in my eyes when I forced her to come out. She'll never forgive me. I love her.
And yet everything was alright
As I sat there in my loneliness
Wrapped my arms around my knees
And I held tight
I could feel my heart beat
I slid down the wall and tears slid down my cheeks. I'm used to being alone. It's okay. I hugged my knees to my chest and I felt my heart beat and I knew I was alive and that I'll be okay one day. I hate her but I love her too.
I felt my heart racing. All my emotions were scattered. One thing I was certain of is this. I. Love. Her. I need to tell her. She needs to know.
That's how I knew
I'm alive [x8]
I feel because I'm alive
Feeling the hatred and love for Lauren made me realize that I am alive. I feel emotions when I'm alive. I don't want to die. I want to live.
This is it. I'm gonna tell her. I can do this. Man up Lauren. You can do it. What if she says no? Be quiet. You need to feel emotion in order to be alive. Man up.
Sometimes it's not easy to
And I don't want to feel
But if I close off and just be numb
What would I become?
Sometimes it's not easy to feel. If I close off and numb myself then I'll never be the same. I'd become some heartless human. I wouldn't understand anymore.
I would become a worse version of me than I already am. I can't close off. I can't be numb. I can feel.
Shutting down
Getting by
Even though
There's pain inside
I do still feel pain when I think of Lauren. I miss the Lauren I know. The real Lauren.
I feel pain all over when I think of how Y/N and I used to be. I want her to see the real me again. I can change.
Is how I know
I'm alive [x8]
I feel because I'm alive
I love her
I love her
And if I break
Wanna feel every single thing
I'm alive
I wanna live, not just survive
I'm alive [x10]
If I break after what I'm about to do then that's fine. I'll still be alive. I can't just survive anymore. I need to live. Being with her makes me alive.
I need her to know. I don't care if I break. I want to be alive with her.
*Incoming Message*
Y/N: I love you
Lauren: I love you
They were finally able to be alive together.
