it hurts [eruri au]

|01|

I proceeded onto a random city street, the cold damp air hitting me sharply. I tightened the scarf around my neck burying a great part of my face into it as I blinked several times in order not to ruin my eyes with the strong wind.

The city was not that bad in the morning: the pale sunlight reflected on the buildings as every single plant looked soft and fragile, covered in dew. Everything was so peaceful. That's why I would always go out early: at that time of the day, there were no cars, no people. There were only me, nature and silence.

I decided to stop at the park before going to work. I sighed heavily as I plopped myself on the nearest bench, then rubbed my hands together to get as warm as possible. The atmosphere at the park was even more calming. However, I had still woken up on the wrong side of the bed; I felt incredibly nervous. I took the millionth cigarette out of my hoodie pocket and shoved it quickly in my mouth, as if I didn't want to get caught by anyone. As soon as I sensed nicotine penetrate my lungs I felt more alive. While I was letting the smoke out, I watched it spread in the air and take the same colour as the glassy sky.

"Come on," I groaned under my breath when I realized my head was still pounding. It was weird: I rarely had such strong headaches, and it happened every time I drank. But I hadn't even drunk that much. Anyway, there were more important things to think about. Like, for example, what to do with my mother.

"Nothing. It's simple," I told myself: I had always been patient with people; but she had literally made me give up on her. What she had done was unforgettable. I sure wouldn't be back to her soon.

"No," I shook my head "let's concentrate on happier stuff... like Erwin."

Oh, Erwin. What a hell of a guy he was. Good looking, smart, caring, and the funniest dude I had ever met. When I started working with him he was the first one to introduce me to the other employees. Such a sweet and welcoming boy. Everyone could see that I was in love with him. I actually hadn't told anyone, but apparently it was crystal clear. I am usually not a sentimental or emotional person. But every time he surrounded my shoulders with his big, muscled arms... it felt like home. And I would immediately blush crimson red, especially on top of my ears. So yes, it was noticeable. He probably was the only one who hadn't noticed that yet, or maybe he had just ignored it for all this time. But that message from the previous night... strangely, he wasn't at ease. If this time it had been so hard for him to invite me to a stupid lunch... it means he had to tell me something important.

Oh, stop fantasizing, Levi. It's pathetic.

While I was getting lost in my frivolous thoughts, one hour passed quickly; and it was soon time to go to work.

"Ah, that's why you weren't home this morning," I muttered, raising and eyebrow at the sight of Historia sitting beside another girl, both of them tasting a huge coffee.

"Levi, good morning!" Historia exclaimed showing a big, shiny smile "I'm sorry I got out before you woke up. You see, we were-"

"Oi, where's Mr. Big Eyebrows?" the other girl interrupted her, looking slightly annoyed.

"You mean Erwin?" I replied in confusion.

She bursted out laughing loudly, smoothing her dark ponytail: "Of course it's Erwin! Dude, have you ever seen anyone else with such big eyebrows?"

Historia sniggered but immediately got herself together as I rolled my eyes: "C'mon, they're not that big..."

"Yeah, right!" the petite blonde girl agreed, a slight smile still visible on her face "Stop making fun of people, Ymir!"

The older one was speechless: "I... come on, I was just kidding!"

"Okay, I'll leave you to your fight. Anyway, haven't seen him. He said he's going in late."