We Go Way Back

Goodbye

        The soft wind tousled my hair and caused me to shiver despite Marshall's giant, warm hoodie and the long sleeved sweatshirt I was wearing underneath. It was hella cold outside, but I wasn't about to turn around. There was something I needed to do first.
       "How much farther is it?" Marshall asked for the fifth time, and I rolled my eyes, yet I couldn't keep the smile off my face.
        I looked at him and grinned when I saw his pink nose and ruddy cheeks, sure signs that the cold was getting to him, too.
        "I told you to wear another jacket. You never listen to me," I sighed and shook my head, my fading purple hair dancing in the wind. It had noticeably picked up by now.
        "We ain't even been together a whole damn week and you're already nagging me," he huffed, but his face cracked into a boyish smile.
        I knew he liked it when I 'nagged' him, although he'd never admit it out loud. It showed him that someone cared, he's never gotten that from his mother or anyone for that matter.
        "Yeah, yeah. Shut your face if you're gonna complain when you didn't listen to me in the first place. Were coming up on it anyway, its right over this hill and then behind that abandoned pharmacy," I reassured him on that last part, and he nodded.
        It had been three days since my dad died and we set the Ryder house on fire, a pretty eventful day if you ask me. We were currently making our way to a small fenced off area, an open field that would be perfect for what we were about to do.
        I just hoped the wind didn't fuck it up.
        I glanced at Marshall again and laughed when he fought said wind for the bright red balloon he was holding.
        "Here, give it to me," I held out my hand but he gripped tighter onto the balloon.
         "I wanna hold the balloon," he grumbled and looked at me suspiciously, as if I was gonna take it anyway.
        "If you end up letting it fly away I'm gonna smack you and make you buy another one, which would restart our whole trip," I warned him and he clutched the balloon close to his chest.
        We eventually descended the hill and squeezed down a narrow alley between the buildings I mentioned, which led us to the fenced off area behind the pharmacy.
        I eyed the barbed wire warily, and understood why whoever put this fence here wanted to keep people out of the field. It had to be the prettiest place I've seen in Detroit so far, with its tall and lush grass blowing in the wind and the sunlight reflecting off of the strands. It looked alive, like an ocean.
        I desperately wanted to touch it.
        "Pretty, huh?" I tore my gaze away from the field and looked at Marshall, who stood there looking like some lost little boy with his arms wrapped around a red balloon and his baby blue eyes full of awe and wonder.
        He nodded and I took Marshalls hoodie off, then threw it on top of the barbed wire. I waited for the complaint that I would ruin his hoodie but there came none.
        I climbed the fence and jumped down on the other side, laughing quietly to myself when I remembered how I had gotten the wind knocked out of me when I fell off the fence that night we set the house on fire. Good times.
        Making sure the balloon didn't pop while climbing over the fence was tricky, Marshall had to shove it underneath his jacket and very cautiously climb and jump down from the fence. It was difficult and painstakingly slow but we got it done successfully.
        "Imagine bein' pregnant and climbing a barbed wire fence," Marshall huffed and pulled the balloon out from under his jacket.
         "That would fucking suck. But why the hell would a pregnant lady climb a barbed wire fence?" I asked with a laugh. He shrugged, actually thinking about it.
        We began to walk towards the middle of the field in a comfortable silence, and every now and then I would hold out my hand to touch the soft strands of the dancing grass. I sighed in bliss and glanced at Marshall, who was staring at me intently.
        He smiled when our eyes met and grabbed my hand. Our interlaced fingers made me all the more content and peaceful, and yet sent tingles from my hand throughout my entire body at the same time.
        We stopped walking in the middle of the field and let go of each others hands reluctantly. I dug in my backpack for the little girls drawings and stuffed bunny and pulled them out carefully.
        After rolling the drawings tightly I tied them together with a spare piece of string and then tied both drawings and stuffed animal to the balloon. The wind was soft again, but my heart was heavy and no longer at peace. I still felt so sad for this little girl, the girl with no name and forgotten, yet ugly past.
       "Dammit, I don't think its gonna fly," I scrunched my eyebrows together and stared at the items in my hand worriedly. I looked at Marshall and he gave me a reassuring smile.
        "It will, don't worry," he grabbed my hand and the both of us lifted the balloon in the air together. Then, we let go.
        And it felt like a weight was lifted off of my chest.
        Peace.
        The moment the balloon took flight, riding on the gentle breeze that made the ocean of grass dance and wisps of my hair curl around my face, I felt a wave of peace and bliss soothe me. Marshall laced his fingers with mine again and we sighed in content, staring at the ascending balloon.
        All I could hear was the swaying grass and wind in my ears, and I felt completely okay in this silence. Funny, the quiet had always scared me, because it reminded me of the calm before the storm with my dad. Oh the irony, considering my fucked up name.
        But this was a different quiet. Things were going to be okay for now. So I guess I learned something from these tragedies, both mine and this little girls. She was at peace somewhere and so was I, right now in this moment, standing next to the only boy who will ever have my heart.
        So I closed my eyes and leaned into Marshall and relished it, captured it. Who knows when I'll ever feel something like this again.
        "Goodbye little miss Ryder," I whispered.
        Marshall laid his head on top of mine and held me tightly.
                         ***
        We had stayed at the field until sunset, where we promised each other that we would come back later on in the night once we've eaten.
        Instead of going back to his moms for food, we went to go raid Eddie's for junk food and beer. Eddie, of course, was sleeping.
        "Marshall, grab some candy," I told him as I stuffed my pockets full of snacks.
        He nodded and tried pulling his jacket lower over his slightly sagging jeans, his pockets stuffed with beer bottles.
        I glanced at Eddie and fought a small smile as I remembered all the times both Marshall and I would prank his ass. Marshall dressing up in drag wasn't the only time, trust me.
       I shoved my hands in my pockets and inconspicuously made my way to the door, glancing at the snoring store owner every now and then.
        Marshall had finally met me at the door when Eddie decided to grace us with his conscious self.
        "Hey, I know you two," Eddie wiped his mouth and squinted at us, his thinning hair frizzy on one side of his head from being slept on.
        I slowly shuffled to the door, a little uneasy because if Eddie recognized us, he'd call the cops. That or shoot at us.
        "Oh, you mean you saw my twin sister and her boyfriend. Marsha and Gavin," Marshall nodded as if in deep thought, then looked at me with a devilish gleam in his blue eyes.
        I relaxed and waited for what Marshall was about to pull on Eddie.
        "Sister? Oh yeah, yeah. She was a looker, that sister of yours," Eddie licked his chapped lips and shook his head as if he were thinking of some kind of delicious food he wanted to eat.
        Eddie watched Marshall through beady eyes, waiting to see his reaction. He probably expected Marshall to get mad and defend his 'sister' but Marshall only looked uncomfortable.
        I didn't blame him, if Eddie looked at me like I was a piece of meat I'd go running for the hills.
        "Come on, we actually need to go meet up with her," I bit my lip to keep from laughing and tugged on Marshall's sleeve.
         He was still looking at Eddie uneasily, so when he misplaced his foot and stepped on me I tripped and fell on my back and elbows, stolen junk food pouring out of my pockets and onto the floor in front of Eddies line of sight.
        Marshall looked at me worriedly and I only shook my head when he was about to cater to me. We had to get the hell out of here.
        Eddie let out a string of curses and picked up his phone while both Marshall and I scrambled to picked up all the food again. Right when we finally stood up and made it to the door did Eddie cock a gun, the sounds of gunshots ringing in my ears
        "God damn kids!!" Eddie yelled as more shots came flying around us, both Marshall and I literally running for the hills, cackling with laughter and adrenaline flowing through our veins.
                          ***
         "I noticed you stopped smoking," Marshall mumbled in my ear. I blinked in realization at this fact, noting how I had not once picked up a cigarette and smoked due to my stress and addiction.
        "Wow, you're right. That's weird," I glanced at him and bit into a Twinkie. I then scooted farther back into him, getting comfortable in between his legs.
        He wrapped his arms around my waist and tucked his chin into my shoulder and neck. My heart fluttered and I felt all tingly when he touched me.
        "I'm glad. You didn't need to be doing that shit," he said quietly and I shrugged.
        "Yeah, I was just so stressed out. My dad and my mom both did it, and for me, since I saw it all the time I of course tried it. I fucking nearly vomited the first time but my moms death drove me to getting more and smoking them like I needed them to live," I sighed, my body content with being this close to Marshall but my heart squeezing at the thought of my mother.
        "You can talk about her with me, you know," he told me, his voice soft and caring. I turned to him and watched his face, both of us just gazing at each other. I was so grateful for this boy, and I had no clue how to tell him how much I loved and appreciated him.
        Crickets chirped and the tall grass swayed around us, the moon and stars illuminating our faces somewhat.
        "No, its alright. I couldn't talk about her even if I wanted to. At least not yet," I looked at my hands, my Twinkie long gone. Marshall grabbed my hands and laced his long fingers through mine, tingles shooting up from my hands to my arms.
        "I love you," he pulled me into his arms and squeezed me.
        "I know," I pulled back and poked his nose. He narrowed his eyes at me and I jumped up before running, Marshall right behind me.
        I sprinted and jumped, laughing every time whenever Marshall thought he would catch me and I'd just barely dodge him.
He would only cuss under his breath and laugh along with me.
        "Yo hold up a minute," he slowed down and when I didn't stop he simply lunged and tackled me to the floor. I got the wind knocked out of me and Marshalls heavy weight only making it worse, and I was about to tell him off when he shut me up with a kiss.
          My heart sped up and I could hear the blood rushing to my head, those butterflies going crazy in my stomach as my eyes fluttered shut.
         He pulled away and held himself up to relieve me of his heavy ass weight.
        "That fucking hurt asshole," I couldn't hide my smile.
       "Yeah, really seems like it," he rolled onto his back so that we were side by side.
         I pulled on his earring.
         "Motherfu-" he hissed in pain and pinched my arm. I yelped and rubbed it, glaring playfully at him.
         I flicked his cheek and he grabbed my hand and bit my finger, causing me to flinch and yank my arm away.
         "Asshole I didn't even flick you that hard," my voice rose in pained laughter. I shook my hand to relieve my throbbing finger.
        He went to pinch me again and I quickly rolled away, yelling at him to quit. He lay there, laughing at me and the way I escaped, and when I flipped him off he only did it back.
         I ate another Twinkie and just gazed at the stars. I had no fears or worries, no ache in my heart from thoughts of that girl or my mother. The sounds of soft wind and both mine and Marshalls laughter intertwined together in the night air made me feel so at peace it was unreal.
         I felt as though I could take whatever life had to throw at me when I was with Marshall. Like I was fucking invincible with him. I loved that feeling, it was so reassuring and gave me hope. Hope for what, I didn't exactly know.
        "We could stay the night here, huh? That'd be cool," Marshall suggested and came to sit by me. I munched on my Twinkie and shrugged in thought.
        "Yeah if you want people mugging you," I finished chewing and gave him a look, "We may be in the prettiest spot on this side of 8 Mile but we're still in Detroit."
       Not that I thought he wouldn't be able to handle himself if it came to one person fighting with their bare hands. He proved to be pretty skilled in that department when I saw him throw my dad around like a sack of potatoes and proceed to pummel him to a pulp.
        He shoved me playfully and I grinned at him.
        "I was tryin' to be romantic, smartass," he rolled his eyes, but they twinkled with adoration and love whenever he looked at me, and that lit me up inside like you wouldn't believe.
         "Cheesily romantic, dude," I pointed out and he looked away, most likely to hide a flushed face despite the darkness.
         I leant into him and lay my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes when his smell enveloped me like a warm blanket. He wrapped his arms around me, and despite my earlier thoughts against falling asleep out here, I couldn't resist my heavy eyelids that slowly closed.
        I fell asleep to the sound of crickets and Marshalls heartbeat, and with a smile on my face.

       Hey guys! I'm sorry it's so short, I don't really like little chapters when I read something and I don't like writing them that way. My bad, y'all. But shits about to get a little more crazy from here on out, of course when beloved Marshall and Silence are happy. Bit of info, I changed both Marshalls and Silence's age in the beginning of the book, they were 15 and now they're 17 - not really a big difference but I felt that I needed to make them older. And one more thing, I absolutely love when you guys add my little book to your reading list, or have commented or voted. It makes me feel so happy and brings the biggest smile to my face. And honestly, right after I see that I go and write some more of a chapter I work on because I get that spark every time. Thank you all so much, guys. Bye for now Stans, til the next chapter!
               *ColoredEyes*