That Night (Tree Bros)

Chapter 1: Anybody Have A Map?

Warnings: suicide mentions, swearing, depressive thoughts
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Connor's POV:

The first day of school sucked. Not much more than usual, but it sucked. I thought I would've skipped and killed myself during the day so I didn't have to worry about school, but my mom forced me to go, so my life sucked even more. I ended up meeting a guy who was probably the only person I know who would understand me, and then I literally pushed him away. We might have actually even become friends if I didn't get so pissed about his crush on my sister.

I walk into my room and shut the door on my family yelling at me to stop being anti-social. They should just be glad I stayed downstairs and ate dinner with them today instead of eating in my room like usual. I pulled the pills out of my pocket and stared at them. The pills I stole from Evan. Just another reason to die. I stole pills from a kid who actually needed them just so I could kill myself with them. I'm a fucking awful excuse for a human.

"Connor, at least say goodnight to your family if you're going to go to your room this early!" My mom calls up the stairs, snapping me out of my thoughts.

I sigh, shoving the pills back down into my pocket. I go over to the door to my room and open it, calling "Goodnight, guys" before closing it again.

I slide my body down the door until my head rests on my knees. I wrap my arms around myself and close my eyes, swallowing hard to try to prevent the tears threatening to show themselves. Should I really kill myself? Maybe if I do my family will realize something was wrong with me. They'd be mad at themselves that they were too late to help me. But... what if they don't? I've been treating them so horribly lately, what if they are glad I died? What if they didn't even care at all? What if everyone forgets that I even existed in the first place?

I can't do it. I can't kill myself because I would never know their reactions. And even if I somehow could, if there is an afterlife and I could see them from it, I still couldn't make them sad if they weren't; I'd just have to deal with their reactions.

"Ugh." I pulled the hood of my jacket over my face, stood up, and started pacing around the room.

No one understands me. No one knows how I feel. No one I know could possibly relate... except... maybe Evan? I had just met him today, but he didn't have any real friends. Like me. I can't make myself stay in this house tonight, I just can't. He seems like a pretty nice person, maybe I could stay at his house for tonight, or even longer. I just hope he forgives me for stealing his meds. He's probably the closest thing I have to a friend right now. And I've seen him outside his house, It's within walking distance.

I opened the window and climbed out and down the tree that's right next to my room. I walked down the street to around where I thought his house was. It wasn't there. None of the houses were ones that I recognized. I looked around wildly. Did I get myself lost? My breathing started getting labored. Tears prickle at my eyes again. Where is it where is it where is it. I wasn't even sure I knew my way back to my house from here. I see a small park about a block away. I still have the pills. I can walk over there and kill myself right now.

A light comes on in a window of the house to my right. I look up. It's Evan. He's there, climbing onto his bed and setting his laptop on the desk next to him. There's a fence around the backyard, and his window is close enough to the edge of the house that I'm sure I can get to it from the fence. I climb onto a lawn chair and use it to push myself onto the fence. The light turns off in Evan's room. Fuck. I stand up on the fence and knock on his window anyway.