Female various x Male reader

Woopsy daisy

A/n:Sorry for not updating as soon as I usually do it's just that finals came up and I'm trying to get a good grade on it but the great news is that I'll be out of school this Monday coming up so wish me luck on my finals and once those pass I'll get back on my regular schedule
Church:Is he going to be alright
Doc:Well Tucker's kid drank half a gallon so he's bound to have some side effects like dizziness,Nausea...
Caboose:*Suffering from blood loss*Im going to stop standing up now*Face plants into the floor*
Doc:And passing out
Caboose:Church...If I die i want you to have my orange juice
(Junior making Racket in the background)
Church:How is tucker sleeping through all of this
Doc:Tucker isn't sleeping...He's in a coma
Caboose:I'm still laying here.Why isn't anyone helping me
Church:Alright Doc move out of the way I'm going to take care of this
Doc:Sorry but you can't because newborns are very subduable to disease,Germs,And cuddling
Church:Don't worry doc I'm not going to give it a cold.I'm just going to go in there.Step on its neck.and shoot It in the head. cause that's just how I roll
Doc:Now your definitely not going in there
Church:Don't worry doc I'll wash my hands before I kill the abomination.
Doc:Don't make me pull rank on you
Church:RANK!!?You don't out rank me I'm a captain
Doc:No your a private with a dead captain and last time I checked that makes you a private...With a dead captain
Caboose:I can't feel my torso
Church:Well then we're both privates and you can't stop me from going into my own base.
Caboose:My body...Is trying to die
Doc:No I'm a super private medical officer first class
Church:That isn't a thing
Doc:Yes it is
Church:SINCE WHEN!!!?
Doc:Since I sent letter every day for four years requesting that promotion
Church:THEY PROMOTED YOU FOR THAT!!!?
Doc:Church getting a promotion isn't about being able to shoot people and win battles,It's about telling other people to shoot people and win battles
Caboose:If I've been bitten does that mean I'm going to turn into one of them!?
Church:Shut up caboose
Caboose:Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh~
Church:Shut up caboose
Caboose:Oh No don't let me turn
(Pelican crash lands in the background)
Church:What the hell was that!?
Caboose:I felt nothing*Still on the floor*
Church:Also doc don't feed anymore of our soldiers to the Alien
Doc:No promises
Caboose:Don't leave me with the terrible doctor
Doc:Oh shut up caboose
Caboose:Now he's cursing at me
A/n:*Sweat drop*