[ON HOLD] A Wonderland Of Misery (Solangelo AU)

Uncovering the Differences

NPOV

I watched him everywhere.

I tried to keep myself as small as possible. Perched on my bed, knees drawn to my chest, breaths even and quiet and barely there at all. My heart was dully thudding against my ribs and I just wanted the day to be over.

I could tell Will was popular. Lots of friends, even more acquaintances. He was the type of person who laughed too much because life hadn't knocked him on his ass yet.

People like him were lucky. I understand that we all have to work for success, but some of us have to work a whole lot harder than others. Opportunities don't fall from the sky and into laps. Not everyone has had the same support.

It's not something to get mad over. It's life.

I quickly realized that it was Will's confidence that bothered me the most. I didn't think you could make a bed confidently, but he seemed to pull that off. His sheets were an obnoxious yellow, like the color crayon kindergartners use for the sun. He placed several pillows in a mound, each different sizes, shapes, and patterns. Some were even smiley faced. The nerve.

I lost it when he dumped his suitcase on his bed. You know, folding laundry like a normal person.

"I'm going out." I said as I turned my body awkwardly towards the nightstand. I pulled a pack of cigarettes from the drawer and slammed it closed.

He watched me pocket them with an air of disapproval, looking at me with his brow furrowed. "Out where?"

"Nowhere."

"Well, that doesn't make any sense."

"You know what I meant." I huffed. "It's none of your business."

A mixture of emotions, all of them individually fighting for attention, threw me in a hellish game of tug-of-war that I had to blame on something.

On Will. On Hazel. Just not on myself.... Maybe that was why I was so bitter all the time.

I had to get out of this apartment for a little bit, at least long enough to get my thoughts in order again. Knowing you're being childish was one thing, bringing yourself to care was something else entirely.

My next sentence sounded flat, because it spilled into the air before I could stop myself. "I don't want to be here anymore."

"Where would you rather be?" He asked, the sincerity in his voice making me hesitate.

I snapped my head in his direction, but his face didn't give anything away.

He could just be being nice.

Or he could be making fun of me.

I honestly couldn't tell. Conversations are always battles, I can never figure out what people actually mean. I was bad at communicating, and Will didn't get to be an exception. No one did.

"Why do you care?" I finally countered after letting silence fall between us.

I noticed that he stayed especially focused on his task in an effort to avoid my gaze, shrugging. "I don't know.... You look kind of sad."

"So?"

That was never enough reason for anyone else, and I wasn't in the mood to drop the conversation by denying it. Will and I were stuck together, whether we liked it or not. I might as well have been as confrontational as I wanted.

Will blinked. He opened and shut his mouth a few times, trying to come up with anything at all to say.

I wasn't about to waste my time - not after I already took the day off work. I stood, rolling my eyes as I made my way to the doorway.

"Wait!" He exclaimed. Puzzlement stopped me in my tracks when I saw how he hurried to throw half-folded clothes into one of the drawers. "Can I go with you? I have to start work soon, and I don't know how to get there yet."

The whole point of me leaving the apartment was because I wanted time away from him. If he really needed my help, I had no trouble with shoving a map in his face and letting him figure it for himself. 

But something made me hesitate. It might have been the way he was looking at me.

"Fine." I sighed.

Will smiled, his mouth quirking up at the corners in a way that made his face warmer somehow. It was both soft and strong. Dimples and a chiseled jawline.

"Where are you going to be working? I guess I can show you the way there."

"Salus Regional."

My stomach dropped. The inside of my skull was occupied by cold dread, and it took a moment for the wave of anxiety to disperse. I was sure Will could see the expression on my face change – the hardness I tried too hard to portray was cracking under the weight of it all.

Will was staring at me the whole time. "Nico...?"

"It's nothing." I said, but both of us knew that it wasn't the truth. "I mean – It's just that I work there, too. Are you a doctor or something?"

He nodded slowly, probably trying to figure out why I was so strange. 

"I finished medical school a month ago. I'm starting an internship later this week."

"Of course you are."

It explained some of the lingering questions that were nagging me. I knew there was something wrong with him.

I deal with doctors all the damn time. Most of them are only in the profession for three reasons: money, girls, and the bragging rights. Despite what they want to portray to everyone else, patients are often just pieces of meat in the hospital setting. Doctors often treat patients solely to get them out of there, not to actually help.

I've seen it happen over and over and over again.

It was too early for me to see his true character, but I found myself wishing that Will would never end up that way.

A/N ~

*prepares for an onslaught of angry comments*

I'M BACK. BET YOU WEREN'T EXPECTING THIS LOL KILL ME.