The Forbidden Fruit (MaNan FF)

xviii.

"I used to visit the beach from time to time with my papa when I was young," she said dreamily and he paid attention. She had her legs held by her arms as she sat on the shore, watching the waves come closer and closer, the water slowly reaching her feet. Manik was sitting beside her and his eyes didn't leave her even once. He liked it when she talked to him like this. He liked it very much. "Eventually the visits slowed down because we couldn't find the time in our busy lives, but I still come here sometimes after college. It's very calm and relaxing, like some sort of escape from the crazy world."

"I get that," he said, turning back to observe the waves. "I used to do that with our family beach house. When I felt lonely or stressed, I would go there and sometimes stay for days. It helped me relax. Also, it's so much more private and calmer than the public beach."

"But this place is nice too," Nandini smiled. "I find pleasure in watching the many people who come here and enjoy their time. Especially children; it's very heart-warming to see them playing around and building sandcastles and whatnot."

"I guess," he shrugged. "It's not too bad."

"Not at all." Nandini bit her lip for a while. She felt very comfortable and at ease with Manik when they were talking so casually. It made her feel nice, but she also felt like she was betraying her own self. She was supposed to be angry at him, wasn't she? She knew she should be but she just couldn't. She had realized that her anger was slowly fading and she didn't want that, at all. She just felt so obliged to keep up with the anger and hatred that she didn't notice that slowly, she didn't want to anymore.

"Were your parents nice with you when you were a child?" she had asked him out of a sudden, causing him to turn at her, all surprised.

"No," she softly spoke and Nandini felt a pang of sympathy. "It's really complicated, you know."

"I have the time to listen," she suggested, and Manik sighed. He knew he had been holding this in for too long. The only person he could share his sorrows with was Cabir, but these days his friend didn't have the time for him, not to mention that the incident was slowly making them grow distant.

"My mother," he started softly and Nandini turned to look at him while he spoke, "had an affair with my father out of greed. She came from a small town and aspired to be really powerful. She was and still is a manipulative woman. When she got pregnant with me, she blackmailed my father to marry her as he... inherited a lot of money from our family business. But that was it, though. They never felt any sort of love or attachment towards me. I was just a business deal that changed their lives, I guess. That's why ever since the day I was born, they never treated me like I was their son."

"That's tough," Nandini slowly said after some time, "I'm sorry."

"You shouldn't be," he said, and he truly meant it. He knew that after she found out that the parental negligence was the reason he married her, she would surely hate him more than she already does. That was, given that she hated him, and he was absolutely sure she did. For now, at least.

"You know," Nandini started to say, trying to make the situation lighter, "my mama always said that we shouldn't dwell on the past too much. What happened just... happened. Perhaps it was for the better or the worse, but it's still the past and not the present. You're not in control of your past but your present and future? You can change those to the way you like. That's why you shouldn't dwell on the past. Instead, learn from it, and make your present more beautiful."

To her words, Manik couldn't help but let out a small smile. "Sounds like she was a wise woman."

"The best," Nandini said with a huge grin. "She always liked to help others and look for good in them. She believed that everyone was capable of goodness and she taught me that. She taught me a lot, actually, and I loved her teachings. I really... miss her," her voice was low as she said the last part, and Manik noticed that.