History Always Repeats Itself

Chapter 5

I leaned against the wall, unable to focus on anything but the one question burning inside my head. Was he telling the truth? I wanted to believe him. I wanted to run into his arms and embrace him like I had years before, but there was still a part of me that couldn't trust him. Whether I believed him or not, it still wouldn't change anything. I started a new life here, and somewhere else he did the same. I was with Tony now and Ezra was with someone too, he had to be. He's charming, handsome, and could get any girl he ever wanted, but I wished for him to be single. I didn't want to imagine him moving on in the way I never could. The only thing I could do was convince myself that he was lying. Ezra never cared about me, he never loved me, and he only wanted to hurt me. That was the only truth I needed.

I looked up to see Tony jogging towards me, "Aria? Hey, I thought we were supposed to meet up after your class?" he said, catching his breath.

"Huh? Oh... Yeah, sorry I was late so I had to stay after. You know, catch up on what I missed," I said nervously.

"Alright... You okay?"

"Yeah of course why wouldn't I be?"

"I dunno," he raised his eyebrows, "You seem kinda out of it."

"No, I'm fine," I assured him. I was far from fine.

"You hungry? Blake said he wanted to meet for lunch, if that's cool with you."

"Yeah, starving. I didn't get a chance to eat this morning." I said as he took the bag from my shoulder.

His lips brushed against my forehead, "Come on."

I wrapped my arm around his as we began walking towards the cafe.

"We missed you at the party last night," he said.

"Yeah? How was it?" I asked, trying my best to sound like I was genuinely interested.

"It was fun..." Tony glanced down, meeting my eyes, "Would have been better if you were there."

"Yeah..." I lowered my head and stared at the ground, kicking the pebble in front of me.

I felt awful. I was ignoring Tony, not like he did anything wrong, but because I couldn't let go of what Ezra had said. It didn't take long for him to realize that I wasn't in a talking mood. After the third one-word answer he gave up and we walked in silence. I hated myself for not loving him the way I love, I mean the way I loved, Ezra. Tony could read me better than anyone. He knew exactly what I was feeling and he knew how to make it better. This time there wasn't a joke, kiss, or hug that would make this go away, and I hated Ezra for that. I fucking hated him.

Let this go down on the list of the longest meals I've ever had, or what seemed like it. The rest of the table was talking while I sat quietly, listening to the various conversations around me and thinking about Ezra. Anytime I made an effort to pay attention I had no idea what anyone was talking about. Thoughts of Ezra were swarming my mind and with every memory I could feel my throat starting to close. This is pathetic, I thought to myself. I was having an anxiety attack over a guy I met in high school. This was by far my lowest point. I had achieved rock bottom... Congratulations Aria, well done.

"Aria?" Sam shook my shoulder.

"What?" I replied, in a far more hostile tone than I had intended.

"Are you okay?" she looked concerned, more than usual.

"Yes, I'm fine! Why does everybody keep asking me that?"

"Maybe because you've been spacing out for the past 15 minutes," Blake joked.