I was born Guntram Farrich (call me Gunt). I left my parents at a young age they were content to sit back and reap the rewards of my great grandfather's luck and "creativity". Who, I have been told, I take after in more than name. I felt the urge to...
"Excuse me madam but, Guntram was my Great Grandfather, I'm called Guntram..." I closed my eyes and lower my head... Did I really just say that? "Ah, Let me explain..."
"No need boy." The mummified halfling woman croaked with a slight grin. "You aren't Guntram but you are, right?"
"Ahhh... yes? I suppose... " I stammered. "Look, um" I glanced down at myself then back up at her "Can I get a bath?"
"Absolutely, my boy, even I can smell you." she mumbled the last part but I heard it. "There is just a small matter of payment." When I didn't produce a coin as quickly as she would have liked, she looked up from her book, raised and old grey eyebrow and stuck out her hand. "Well boy? Cough it up!" I got the feeling that every male she talked to was named boy.
"Um... can I... owe you?" I gave her my most honest smile and tried to look innocent.
She then slammed her hand on the desk, making me jump and possibly mingling a little of myself with the already soiled trousers I was wearing. She stood quickly of her own accord, beguiling her earlier frailty, and pointed at me narrowing her eyes. "Do you know how long it's been since anyone owed me anything?"
I got the feeling it had been a long while. "Um no?"
"The question was rhetorical boy." She mumbled angrily. "I get paid up front. The last time was when your no good asshole of a Grandfather..."
"Great Grandfather" I flinched after I interrupted her. I have a bad habit of doing that...
She glared at me "yes... Great Grandfather... he was exceptional..." She smiled to herself so quickly I wondered if I had imagined it. "OK boy. You owe me, but, it's five silver you owe me."
My eyes opened wide and I choked back a retort that definitely would have left me being soiled. I begrudgingly bowed and said "Thank you madam. You won't regret this."
"See that I don't" she scowled and she all but collapsed into the chair behind the desk.
I followed Kat into an area where there are buckets and a fire pit, where I assumed the water was heated. She handed me a bucket and pointed to the door leading out to the right. "That room is the boy's side. That there" she pointed to the left door "is the girl's side. The well is just out there" she pointed out the middle door. "I have to go back out and look for more patrons." With that she started to walk away.
I wondered in that moment if there was someone out there pushing people into the muck on purpose... I shook the thought out of my head and frowned down at the bucket. "I have to draw, heat the water and fill the tub myself?"
She turned back to me "If you don't want to do it yourself it's extra. Also you will have to pay for the firewood if you want the water heated." She smiled, turned away and left me alone with my bucket. "So that's how they make a living only charging a silver..." I mumbled into the bucket.
I tried drawing water in my bucket and dumping it in the copper tub but it was taxing. I filled a whole bucket and I was now sweating on top of being dirty. A strong young man asked if he could give me a hand. I passed him the bucket and sat on a log while he finished. Gods it was hot out. He finished and I was soaking in the glorious, hot, soapy water in no time.
I was soaking with my eyes closed only for a moment mind you. I awoke to see the old hag standing next to my tub! I grabbed the luxurious fluffy towel that was next to the tub and pulled it over myself. "Excuse me madam! I am in the tub!"
"You are in my tub." she stated matter of factly and handed me an extremely fancy piece of paper. On it was a list of everything that I had not asked for (but had also not said no to...) All told I now owed the old hag a ten gold pieces! I still don't really know what happened.
The man in the tub next to mine chuckled. "If'in ya learn ta take cold baths wi' no soap n air dry ya save a ton of money." He laughed uproariously when I got out and put on the fluffy robe and the slippers that looked like fluffy bunnies.
I was clean. Step one complete.
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