ENDING

chapter 2

hey c: sorry u haven't written in forever. I've been trying to recover after my stupid decisions c: idk if I'll continue this story but I guess for now I will until I have my final decision. they think writing about this stuff will make me or others feel this way. I honestly don't know how I feel at the moment but by the end of this I will c: so enough with this lets get on with the story c:

btw I'm changing her last name to Allen. idk why but I like it better c:

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count down: 14 days

when school was over I went straight up to my room. I guess it's a habit now. wake up, go to school, go home and listen to music. my life is on repeat. I need to escape. "soon" I whisper. I put my headphones in and start listening to asking Alexandria. I've grown to like them a lot. they help me through tough times, especially now. I listen to many bands, but AA is my favorite.

not long after I feel the door slam. hes here. I'm almost used to the door slamming everyday now. a few minutes pass until my door opens. I pull my headphones out as john walks in. "get up, now!" as I get up he slaps me. hard. I can tell its gonna bruise. he puinches me in my stomach a few times until I fall on to the floor. he then kicks me and leaves.

I sit there for awhile until my brother walks in. "hey sis..I'm sorry about this. in 3 weeks, when I turn 18, I'm moving out, and I'll take you with me." I sighed. "okay." I hated lying to him. he's all I really have besides my mum. if only I could tell him the truth.

he walked out and shut the door knowing that's how I liked it. I looked towards my closet. maybe a few wouldn't hurt. I slowly got up and walked to my closet and reached for my box that held my only friends.

I took my favorite and walked to my bathroom. I don't want him to walk in and see he won. I took the cold metal and pushed down until I felt the stinging sensation I've come to love over the past years.

one cut.

two cut.

three cut.

four cut.

I keeper on going until my arm had 20 cuts. that's enough for tonight. after I cleaned up my mess I got into the shower and turned on the water all the way til it was scolding hot. i liked the feeling of the water against my skin. it relaxes my pain I kept inside.

after I finished my shower I got ready for bed. I heard yelling downstairs so I quietly walked over near my door so I could hear better. "she's worthless Maria, just kick her out already!" I heard john yell. "no john, she's only 16. let her be on her own until she's out of high school." I heard my mother faintly say, I could hear she's been crying. I ran back to my bed and tried to go to sleep but I couldn't. I knew I was worthless. I shouldn't even be alive.

I guess it'll all be over with soon. I can bear another day of this. I have to. I was lost in thoughts that I didn't even feel my eye close until I fell into a deep sleep.

~dream~

"no please!" I shouted as the gun was brought to my head. "give me one fucking reason not to kill you right now you worthless bitch!" I sat there quietly until I head the bang and fell down on to the cold hard concrete.

~*turtle*~