ENDING

chapter 4

so I guess I'm gonna continue the story. idk I'm really into writing right now so I'll try and update like I have been lately c: I mean 3 chapters in the span of 2 days!? I'm excited c:

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count down: 13 days

have you ever felt so used, dirty, worthless? that's how I feel. I'm nothing to them, they just use me to get what they want. I fake my smile so no one worries, like anyone would. I'm not a normal person. I hide everything form my parent, my brother. I could really use my dad. now that I brought him up I guess I should tell you about my real father.

he was amazing, he always made people happy. I loved him but now he's in a better place. so here's the story, when I was about 9. he started to act different. he wasn't his all so happy self any more. everyday he came home and just went up to his office. we didn't know what he was doing, but it never crossed our minds. one day he came home crying. he told us he was fine and not to worry about him much. that night we all had a good family time and he was happy and we thought he was back. oh we were so wrong. around 12am we heard a noise come from downstairs, it sounded like a chair falling. me, being a lighter sleeper than everyone else, went down stairs only to find something that changed my life forever. he was gone. I screamed and ran up stairs to my mother's room and woke her up and told her. her face expressions is something I could never forget. we ran downstairs and my mother called 911. my brother woke up from all them noise we were making. that day was the day everything fell apart.

we spent most of our days inside. my mother spent almost half the day looking out the window, as me and my brother wouldn't speak. I didn't talk for almost a week until I had to face going back to school. even then I rarely talked. he was the only one that I really could of needed in my life. we didn't know he hated his life so bad.

one day my mom came home with john. that's when everything started to happen. that hit it off and got married about a month later. ever since then my life has been living in hell.

I guess I got what I deserved huh?I didn't stop him. I didn't even try and help him. I didn't know he was unhappy.

I didn't know..

as I come back from my thoughts I realize I needed to vet everything out. I walked over to the closet and grabbed the biggest blade and walked to my bathroom. I sat there for 20 minutes crying and cutting.

why am I even here..