She's DARK He's COLD

chapter- 13

BRIAR'S POV

Sleeping on a bed which has every facility you ever needed to help you sleep is amazing because right now with my eyes closed and with warmth wrapped around is a feeling something I would die for. This bed feels like I am on heaven and opening my eyes is something I never want to do.

After which felt like killing my comfort I open my eyes. But the sight in front of me is so beautiful that if I get to see this every morning I would never sleep. Long forgotten about the best sleep, I moved my fingers on Cayden's face, feeling his soft skin of cheek and then his sharp jawline which I wanted to touch so bad. His eye lashes are so long and thick with a pointed nose. Just wow! No words to describe that how good he looks while sleeping. He looks so harmless just like his personality, so truthful, so pure ...unlike me. I am all that he isn't, will he ever accept me after he comes to know the secrets I have been hiding? Or will I ever even tell him?

It feels so sad that I am not a good person and I can't be one because of my past. Pulling my hand back from his face I just stare at him, thinking what is going to happen. Something that I know, is that he did wrong by marrying me. I don't deserve such life ..maybe one day I will be free of that fears I have been holding so long. Maybe . But then how? It's not possible with a family searching for me, with a past of problems, tears, heart break and ... Killing .

Will he accept me when he knows what I am like, or what I have done?

I still remember the time when I protested against my mom when she blamed me for killing or for being a murderer. She killed me by saying that harsh words which I never expected her to say.

I believed that there were no bullets in the gun but the truth exploded when I pressed my forefinger and shot. I still remember how broken I was when I realized my own parents blamed me for everything. I believe I was and I am at fault and that is the reason I don't really prefer living but I don't know if I really want to die without knowing if what I did was a mistake or was an already made plan. I hate not being myself, hate hating my own self, hate loving my mom the same way I used to.

I don't know why I married Cayden when I knew that I am not capable of being loved, but somewhere in my heart, I wanted the treatment he gave me. Unknowingly I just felt safe with him. I don't expect him to love me but at least his embrace is comforting and this embrace even keeps me away from that awful nightmares. Those nightmares which I see again and again the same way with the same people in it.

I hope my hunters don't find me ever and I die myself before facing them.

Cayden's grip on my waist which I noticed just now tightened, this movement made me remember the events from the last night. I remember us having sex, me giving my virginity to him. I gave him my whole body last night.

My right breast which is exposed right now have a huge hickey just above the nipple, it's nicely and clearly exposed and I don't know how but I felt extremely exposed. Pushing Cayden softly I tried to pull the blanked upwards so that my delicate milk giving glands are hidden, but the blanket was under Cayden's huge body that it didn't even come a little out. Ugh . I pushed him again, but his body is so heavy. Now I tried to pinch him by taking his shoulder skin in between my forefinger and thumb, but instead of his hold loosening around me, it tightened.

"Umm... Ca-Cayden ? " I called which sounded more like a question. There was no reply. " Cayden?" again no reply. I pushed him harder this time but he didn't even move. "Ugh, Cayden? Are you even alive? If you are already dead then leave me to live. " I say a little loudly. This time he groaned but his eyes remained closed. What should I say to make him move so that I can wear some shirt or something? An idea popped in my head.