She's DARK He's COLD

chapter 15

BRIAR'S POV

" I can't . " I replied tightening my grip around him . " you can and you have to . I want to know what is there in your past that disturbs you this much . " he insisted.

There's nothing I can do about my past and I can't hide it from him forever as well but the thing that worries me is his rejection and I don't know what he will think about me after I tell him my past which even I don't know how turned out to be this bad .

" I-I killed . " I said weekly , I don't have any power hiding it anymoe .

There was no movement from his side which made me pull back from his embrace . Looking at him in the eyes is the toughest thing ever , but I still do it . I don't care about the after problems I will face when I know I deserve all of them . Even mom agreed that I deserve all problems of this world .

His eyes show no sign of any emotion . Not even anger . I think continuing is all I can do .

" My parents married secretly without letting anyone know . They were in college that time when they married . There was a crazy lover of my father as well , but my father never loved her . She tried many times to be close to my father in many ways but my father always rejected . He even told her clearly that he doesn't have any feelings for her but she was a hard headed women who wanted nothing else but my father . Meanwhile my mom became pregnant which turned out be a big problem for both my parents but they still decided to have me . This news spread all over the college causing L-lilly my father's lover to know as well in the process . I don't know what happened at that time but I guess Lilly gave up on my father or at least that's what she told she did . But when I was nine she came back ...

She seemed wired to me , not because of her behavior but because of her words and way of talking to my father . She had that fire in her eyes , fire to fight for something . She never liked me . I got to know that because of the way she always looked at me . I don't know why my parents never asked her to leave as she came to our house whenever she wanted . She used to threaten my father for something . She just destroyed our happy life , it was so good before she entered our lives . " I continued saying the deepest truth of my life . "My mom looked sad but never complained . I loved her so much ... Lilly came one night to our house , I just remember mom rushing out of the room telling me to hide under the table . Lilly looked mad . I saw the whole scene from the time she started threatening my father for leaving her till she took out the knife threatening to kill my mom . I knew my father had gun in the drawer hidden , at that time I knew I have to threaten Lilly for saving my father . I was confident in handling the gun because I knew there were no bullets in it ...but it was what I thought . For saving my mom I threatened Lilly for shooting her  but she knew that there were no bullets in the gun . For proving her that there are bullet I shot the gun . I never knew that the gun really had bullets . Even when my father tried to stop me I never listened and shot ... mom blames me for all that have happened after she died . My father never said anything but I know he thought the same . And when he died mom went out of control , she never stayed at home and always bought different guys at home . She tried to punish me by forcing my to stay and watch her have sex with different people . She destroyed herself in front of me . And one day she married Joseph , he was the same as my mom . " I looked towards him .

" Mom found out that she is pregnant after a year of there marriage . She was very tough to handle and she never stopped drinking . I had to restrict her by not giving her any money for drugs and alcohol . She gave birth to twins ." I couldn't help but smile at the thought of them .

" Vinnie and Tillie .... I'm not their mother but I did everything that a mom does for her children . I couldn't give them a happy life but I always tried ...they are everything that I have got after mom and dad left me to live with nothing but myself . "

" the nightmares I get are the ones filled with Lilly and her threats and even my parents who don't help me even when I beg them to . " I sobbed silently . Tears were freely and shamelessly flowing down my face . Cayden didn't show any sign of anger , I wish he understands me .

" Lilly had kids ... a son of my age and an elder daughter . They are the ones hunting me to take revenge . I am not afraid of what they will do with me , but I have always kept myself hidden for my twin brothers . I wanted them to get a good life even when I am not alive so I saved whatever I got and have enough money for their education . "

" Cay-yden ? " I called when he never replied . His face looks like a stone , no response from his side is stressing me . " I know I am not worth of what u have done , bu-but I told not to do this . I don't want you to be in my problems , I am really sorry . " I said moving closer , my heart hurts when he doesn't reply . I knew he will ever accept me after this .

" I don't regret anything I have done ." he replied after which felt like an eternity . I heart raced at his words . " what happened in the past was a misunderstanding , you are not to blame yourself . " he said . " I love hearing that its not my fault but I know it is because I have killed her . I still remember how mom broke and dad looked so hurt that thinking his state hurts me . I accept death because I deserve it ." I said smiling at him .

" you say that because you lack believe and love for yourself . But we will together change that . " he smiled kissing me softly .

" I don't understand this but whenever I sleep with you , I don't get any nightmares . Infact its been a week I have got any till today ...." I said . " then you will never have to sleep without me . Come here ." he pulled me in his arms .

I don't know how its going to be but as long as I am with him I know I am safe . 

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 GOD !! I DONT KNOW HOW I COMPLETED THIS BUT AT LAST I HAVE DONE IT . 

DO LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK .

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~rashk