[COMPLETE/EDITING]Be My Hero

Twelve

A/N: This chapter is a filler chapter. It contains nothing but fluff and smut. Don't like? Don't read. You can easily skip this chapter and miss absolutely nothing. Okay thank :')

After getting a drink from Steve, I started heading off towards a side of the building I had never been to. It was quiet and seemed a little more peaceful than the rest of the facility, which was usually buzzing with activity. I made my way out into the courtyard, sipping the gin I had gotten. It was rich and went down very smoothly. Warmth blossomed through my chest as I sat down on a bench, watching squirrels scamper around the area. The sun was setting quickly and the temperature was perfect. I wondered if Natasha would ever remember me, and the thought hurt. I had a festering hatred for those at V4 and this added fuel to the fire. I took another drink.

By the time I went inside, it was dark, and I was feeling particularly light and giddy. I was warm and tired, and all I wanted to do was sleep. I had a good buzz going-- I was aware of my surroundings enough to easily make it to my room but felt incredible at the same time. I crashed on my bed rather quickly after making it out of my outfit and putting on nothing but a pair of gray sweatpants. I played music from my iPod and quickly drank a glass of water in an attempt to sober myself up. As I lay down, I ran my fingers through my hair. I was too tired to sleep and I didn't feel like going anywhere at the moment, so I was stuck in my room for the time being.

My mind kept gravitating towards Steve. I wonder what he saw when he looked at me. I felt as if the Winter Soldier was always lingering behind me, calm and collected, waiting for something to set him off. There were times when I was so on edge I wasn't sure I could control myself. During those times, I could see fear build in Steve's eyes. He knew as well as I did that I could still revert back to the Winter Soldier. It would take years to get myself fully under control. There were times when I would look at Steve and have the urge to kill him then and there. 

 I'm a fuckin' monster..

Finally, as I was about to fall asleep, I heard a soft knock at my door. "Open," I mumbled groggily. The door opened and I pried my eyes apart to see a dark figure heading towards me. I sat upright, a little alarmed. The figure sat at the end of my bed, silent, and I turned on the lamp beside me. It was Steve. He looked awake and calm, but there was a certain gloss over his eyes. He also had a good buzz. "What's wrong, kid?" I asked, scooting over and patting the spot beside me. Steve moved to sit beside me. Of course, I was used to this, but it was odd for him not to say anything. He looked down at his hands and I tilted my head to the side. He smelled subtly of cologne and alcohol and the scents were intoxicating. I parted my lips to speak again but was quickly stopped when something soft pressed against my lips. I froze completely, heart nearly pounding out of my chest. Chills ran down my spine and I stared at Steve with wide eyes. His lips were so soft. What are you doing...

Steve pulled away from me, his cheeks flushed a brilliant scarlet. "You have no idea how long I've been wanting to do that," he mumbled, licking his lips. I knew Steve wasn't nearly as experienced as I was, and I was surprised he went for the first move. When did this come about?

"Steve, you're drunk," I mumbled, turning away from him to pick at my nails. My heart was still racing and I wished it would calm down. 

"No," Steve said, and I felt his warm hand against my cheek, turning my head to look at him. His eyes were wide and I swore I saw the universe flash in them. This is wrong. We're both drunk. But then again.. He looked so enticing. His lips were plump and shimmered in the dim lighting of the room. His thumb stroked across my cheek, and his small pout sold me. Fuck.

I shoved my doubts to the side and pressed my lips against Steve's. In seconds, I was exploring his mouth with vigor and my heart was yelling at my brain to stop racing with questions. Steve tasted of alcohol and soft, nearly inaudible moans escaped from his lips during the seconds we parted to catch our breath. Steve pulled away from me and I pushed him down to place tiny kisses on his neck. His fingertips brushed over my chest and they left a burning trail where they made contact as if they were individual rays of light. "Bucky," Steve whispered, and I stopped. Anxiety twisted in my stomach. He doesn't want this, what the fuck are you doing you idiot? I looked at him, his cheeks flushed and his pupils dilated considerably. "Don't stop," he replied, his eyes meeting mine. I felt his fingers brush through my hair and the feeling sent shivers down my spine. I nodded and kissed his jawline, heart exploding with warmth. I would have blamed it on the alcohol, but I knew that I had wanted this for quite some time. "You got it, baby doll," I whispered.

As the night progressed, I learned just what made Steve arch and grip the sheets and cry my name. Learned what made his legs shake and yell obscenities. I had not a clue what time it was when we stopped. We were both spent and out of breath, and I couldn't help but hold Steve against me. He was already fast asleep, his chest rising and falling slowly. Only after a few moments, I drifted off to sleep myself, satisfied for the night.

The bed shifted and I slowly opened my eyes. I was still very sleepy. Steve had turned to face me, his baby blues holding a trace of something undiscernable to me. "What's wrong?" I rasped. My throat was very sore. Steve inhaled slowly and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. "Nothin'. I'm just thinking." I knew Steve well enough to know that he wasn't just thinking. I watched as he got up slowly with multiple winces. A part of me liked seeing stark bruises against Steve's pale skin to remind me of last night, and his slight limp made me grin. As he pulled his sweatpants over his hips, I sat up and stretched.

"Where ya goin'?" I asked. As the door slid open to let Steve out, he glanced back at me with a small grin. "None of your business, punk," he mumbled and stepped out. The door slid shut behind him with a soft metallic click, and I couldn't help but smile.

40 days until the accident