Crimson Wish

2nd Step: Just another day

*Alarm rings* As I open my eyes, anger already hits me. "Not again", I said to myself as my mind fills with confusion and hate. Everyday the same results, I try to kill myself, then the next thing I know I wake up here on my bed like it never happened.

Time keeps moving forward, yet still it is like even death himself hates me. No liberty from this cruel world, am I supposed to suffer through it all? I hate it. But no matter what I try, nothing works. It is vicious cycle I wish to end but I can't, and it irritates me so much.

*Sigh* Damn it, I'm being nagged at, again. My mother keeps yelling at me, asking why I'm not yet prepared for school. Yes school, I'm still at that age where it is mandatory to go to school. Although I myself think that it is pointless since we won't get to use most of what they teach us.

As I prepare myself for school, a thought came to me. A memory that haunts me every morning. Me walking on a ledge when I was a child and slips and falls. Then dakrness, an a figure appears in front of me. He is murmuring something to me. But everytime I try to remember what it is, the more the murmur becomes hazy and uncomprehensible. And then after the memory, again I remember waking up on my bed.

If only I could remember what he said, then maybe I can learn what is happening to me and how I can stop it so that I can finally achieve the freedom I long waited for.

As I open the door and step out of the house, I take a pause and take a big long breath, then say to myself "here we go again". *door closes*