Why He Tian does what he does (a 19 Days Fanfic)

Advise

Guanshan slowly slid down the wall and sat with his head between his hands.
What did just happen....
He stayed in that position for a while, his head buzzing.

For a moment, it felt like he... He Tian was going to.. going to kiss me...

The thought sent weird shivers down his spine. He felt his throat tightening and his mouth getting dry.

Fear. That's what this physical reaction a is about. That's wha it is... Guanshan tried to convince himself.

He purposefully dug out the memory of Ge Hong warning him about He Tian.

No wonder. This guy's a psycho... A psycho with eyes that see across my soul, and delicate lips that form into smirks that can kill, and smooth black hair like silk and a body that screams god-in-bed...

Guanshan abruptly paused his chain of thoughts, noticing where it was going, and gave himself a vigorous mental shake.

He stood up, still weak in the knees from the left-over adrenaline from before, and went out of the boys' washroom to the corridor outside. Stepping towards the edge of the balcony, he snuck a glance at the basket ball court. The game had stopped.

But, He Tian was still there.

Guanshan observed him, hidden behind a convenient pillar in the balcony.

He watched as He Tian talked to his teammates, laughing and joking.

He watched as He Tian reached out from time to time to pat the heads of the girls that had gathered around him. He felt his chest clench each time that happened.

And then the clench in his chest tightened some more as he watched He Tian take of running towards an unsuspecting blonde who had just come out of the school building with an equally unsuspecting brunnette. He watched as He Tian collided with the blonde, forcing him into a back-hug. He watched as the blonde struggled to get free, and He Tian refused to let go, laughing and lifting the blond up in the air from behind.

Guanshan abruptly turned away from the scene. The clench in his chest had turned into a sharp, throbbing pain, and there was a lump in his throat.

What a player, he tried to whisper to himself.

Guanshan knew that if anyone had to be named the culprit here, it should be He Tian, playing around with everyone. But defying his rational mind, all Guanshan could feel was a rising sense of anger towards the blonde.

...

"Get off me, you dumbass", Jian Yi finally managed to shove He Tian off.

"I'm a very..." He Tian began.

"Yeah, yeah, we all know. Smart is the word, smartass", Zhan Zheng Xi interrupted in monotone.

He Tian laughed.

Zhan Zheng Xi stared at him. He was used to seeing He Tian smirk at him all the time, but an open laugh like this...

"You look... exceptionally happy. Why?", Zhan Zheng Xi enquired.

"Curious much?"

"Yeah. Cause, it's creeping me out. What are you plotting?"

"Your suspicions wound me gravely!" He Tian brought his hand to his chest in mock hurt.

But as the other two shook their heads, and continued walking, He Tian thought back to the small space in the boys' washroom, and Red in front of him, pinned to the wall...

I really am happy, he thought and a smile spread on his lips again.

...

The smile was still on his face when He Tian opened the door to his apartment. But it faltered as soon as he entered, and saw his elder brother, the black of his tee shirt blending into the black of the minimalist couch on which he sat.

"You should get some cushions for this couch, brightens up the space a bit", his brother said as way of greeting, and then patted the spot beside him, "Come, He Tian, sit."

It's my house, He Tian thought moodily, you don't need to invite me in. I will do as I want.

Aloud he said, "Black suits our family the best, don't you think?", And with that he took measured steps towards the chair that stood opposite to the couch where his brother sat.

He could feel his brother's eyes followed his movement. He looked up, and locked eyes with him, silently defiant.

I'm not sitting beside you. You promised me privacy. And yet, here you are... Uninvited.

His brother returned his gaze for a few slow moments, before sighting and looking down, absentmindedly taking a swig from the can of beer in his hand.

Made himself at home, I see. He Tian seethed, knowing well he was being petty.

If someone asked He Tian how he felt towards his older brother, he would struggle to put it in one word. There were too many conflicted emotions when it came to this man.

As a child, he adored his brother, hero worshipping him.

But, as he grew up... And as he started to understand things more, his feelings started becoming conflicted.

It was not probably his fault, He Tian thought, regarding the man before him, someone had to make me... grow up. And it just happened to be him. Better him than anyone else, really.

He still loved him. Dearly. He would risk his life for his older brother, if it cme down to it.

But, did he like him? No.

He supposed his older brother felt the same way about him.

"He Tian", his older brother spoke, breaking the silence. "We need to talk."

"I am listening."

"It has been brought to my notice that... You have become friendly with the asset."

"If you mean Jian Yi, use his name."

"The asset", his brother continued, stressing the offensive word, "is of utmost importance, as you are well aware. But, if push comes to shove, your loyalty lies with The Trust."

"What are you guys planning?"

"I hope you remember your pledge."

"WHAT ARE YOU GUYS PLOTTING?"

" Attachment to the asset to this degree is unhealthy, little brother."

"HE IS NOT AN ASSET. HE IS A PERSON. THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT HIM. I... I CARE ABOUT HIM. HE IS MY FRIEND" He broke off, panting.

"He Tian...", His brother sighed. "What's the use of caring, if you can't protect what you care for?

When did older brother become so cold... He Tian could feel a stinging sensation behind his eyes. Older brother...my brother. Do you...

He did not want to break down before this man... But against his wishes, he felt his lips move in a whisper, "Older brother... Do you... Do you care about me? Or have you given up because you can not protect me either?"

"I do care about you, He Tian... And, if need be, I can protect what I care for. It's a promise"

He Tian slowly lifted his eyes and found his older brother's steady gaze trained on him. The brothers sat in silence. Both knowing what the words implied.

Then his brother suddenly reached out and ruffled his hair, a ghost of smile on his lips.

"To care for someone is a privilege. If you must care, make sure you prove yourself worthy."

The older man stood up and made for the door. He Tian mutely followed him, seeing him off.

Just before the lift door closed on him, the older Tian brother let out a laugh, 'I am glad you are making friends, little brother."

And with that, he was gone.

He Tian let out a frustrated sigh, even as a smile tugged at his lips. He combed his fingers through his hair....

Older brother... He was always one for dramatic exits. Agh.