One lesson that I learned the hard way was, just because they are family
doesn’t mean they are all there for you. I was a miracle baby out of the womb; I had many problems, I was born two months early, with two collapsed lungs and gastroschisis. My mom was in labor for twenty-three hours just to give birth to an almost dead baby, and after all that she treated me like she didn't want me. Looking back it doesn’t make sense how I made it, but I am happy that I did. I was on oxygen, a heart monitor, an I was hooked up to so many machines, I was like that until I was three just to end up with no house, and living with my grandparents for two more years. When I finally got a house, my dad was already living in Denver while my mom and I were taking refuge in a second story apartment in a shot up neighborhood while the apartment was still being built around us. I remember waking up in the middle of the night to very bad asthma attacks, and the cold breeze coming through the half built wall, blowing sawdust in my face. When the apartment was built, we had no furniture, no food, and no money. That's when things started getting bad. I ended up selling my asthma medication for money to buy food for my brothers. We started living on the street, mom was always gone, I had to take care of her when she was around, she was either lazy, high, or drunk. She always brought a new guy around so I had to move a lot, and I was forced to call every one my “new dad,” I was so lost and confused, there were so many guys that I couldn't even count.
Six months later my mom found a boyfriend, his name was Jay, at first I liked him, I thought he could be like my dad, and he was, he took care of me and helped me through school. My mom, Noticia, moved in with him after their first date, I thought it was going too quick, and sure enough, a couple months later my brother was born, Kai. We grew up being more than just brothers, we were best friends. We did everything together. What he didn't know was, mom and Jay were never around to raise him, I did it all, fed him (I didn't eat for two to three days at a time.) I bathed him, took him to the park, I did it all at the age of seven. My mom ended up cheating on Jay with my dad and had another baby, my brother Nehemiah, we call him Miah for short. Miah and Kai ended up getting along very well, Kai was a fast learner, when he was three he helped me clean the house and take care of Miah.
Jay didn't like Miah though, when Miah could walk and go up and down our stairs Jay would push little Miah down the thirty two stair staircase, I would catch him when he came down the stairs, I remember one time when I caught Miah I went through the closet door behind me. A few months later mom and Jay had another kid, my third brother Noah. Noah was a very calm baby, the easiest to clean up after. Meanwhile, I wasn't doing so good, I walked us all to the clinic a few blocks away multiple times because I was malnourished. One day my mom came home crying, I asked what's wrong, she pushed me away and ran upstairs. Jay never came back home, mom says he didn't show up to the restaurant. The next day, I was relaxing because I got all the kids fed and they were sleeping, mom came in my room and asked me what I was doing, I tried to answer but my voice was shaky and barely audible, she got mad at me and picked me up, threw me into the wall, and started throwing toys at me. Later I figured out my mom had bipolar disorder, no medications and was on drugs. For a while after we were on the streets again, I had to care for my mom, Noah, Kai, and Miah. I found out the hard way that caring for four people, while homeless is extremely hard, and at the time I was working two jobs landscaping, illegally, I was definitely under age.
Let's skip ahead a year, my mom got a new house and got a new boyfriend. Matthew, he was pretty nice, he said that he never lies that alone was a lie, he told me that he had a lot of money, that he earned it, he stole it from my mom. He did a lot more to her, stole her car, he stalked her, but the thing that I hate about him the most is that he raped me, multiple times. A few months later he sprained his ankle, I didn't care, I actually laughed at him. We ended up living with his parents, I had to sleep in the basement, I had no bed, no blankets, no heat, I was fed 1-2 times a day, if I were lucky, occasionally I was allowed out to shower, and spend time with my brothers. Matthew came down to the basement sometimes, every time I was raped by him, and I remember, he made me keep a journal of how many times, and how I felt after each time, I still cannot forget my last entry, “ Time 126, today was worse than all the other times, I tried to fight back, I was beaten, badly, I’m bleeding, I'm bruised, and... I don't think I can go on like this, I would try to run, but the basement door is locked. It's been a few weeks since I’ve seen my brothers, or showered. I hope it ends soon.”
Awhile later, my mom got another boyfriend, Kashief, I hated him, he was abusive, a thief, a liar, a cheat, and awol soldier. I met him when I was in fourth grade. At first he gave us a house, food money and he taught me how to play football. He also Introduced my mom to drugs, she started smoking marijuana, I packed the pipes for her, picking up drugs from drug dealers because Kashief threatened to hurt me, or sometimes threatened to kill me, she stopped taking her medication for her bipolar disorder. He talked her into leaving the U.S., we went to the Canadian border, luckily when we got there we were told our paperwork was invalid, my brother, Kai’s birth certificate was signed by my dad. So, we went to Oregon and settled there, we were constantly abused, I had to sleep outside and clean while everyone else was playing and having fun. One long year later my mom called my dad and he came to get us. He left his job and came to Oregon that night, the next morning he got Kashief arrested and brought us back to Colorado. He let my mom come live with us after he won custody. I was so happy, I lived with my whole family, I didn't get hit, I had food, a house, and my dad again.
Six months later my mom left and took Kai and Noah with her. I was devastated, the last thing I said to my brothers was, “ It’ll be okay, it's only for a couple days, don't worry.” It's been seven years since I've seen them. My mom has full visitation rights and she never visited since, or called, nobody knows where she is. This is only the short version of my life story, if you wantto hear it all, just ask. But the lesson I learned from all of this was just because they are family doesn't mean that they are all there for you.
