Alien [Louis]

50 | R e m e m b e r

I SHOULDN'T BE here, was my first thought as I pushed open the door to Louis' room.

My feet had carried me almost instinctively up to his chambers and before I could contemplate turning and heading back to my room, I'd found myself already standing with my hand on the knob. It was probably indecent of me to be in his room and yet I couldn't bring myself to turn and leave.

His room was familiar, a place he had spent a lot of his time while away from the lab – it was somewhere I knew I'd feel closer to him. Some part of me hoped to find him inside, either sitting at his desk, furiously scribbling down notes or reading in his bed.

With a creak, the door swung on its hinges and revealed the emptiness within. Of course, he wasn't there; no matter how hard I wished, he wouldn't come back to me.

The emptiness of the room should have made me turn and walk away. I didn't need another reminder that he was gone. However, my feet refused to obey.

Sleep had been a struggle once again and the more restless I grew, the more I'd longed to escape my room. Of course, the first place I'd thought of after opening my door had been to wander up to Louis' room. Perhaps the midnight jaunt would tire me out enough to get at least a couple hours at least.

I'd expected a couple of guards or even Norkar to be stationed outside of the door. To my relief, the corridor was vacant save for the sound of the creatures down in the garden, chirping away like birds early in the morning. The crimson sky shone through the tall windows of the corridors I padded through, a slight chill creeping over the sills. I pulled the emerald robe tighter around myself as I made my way through the palace, glancing left and right to ensure I wouldn't stumble into any guards.

I remembered the way to Louis' room easily. Most likely I could make the journey with my eyes closed. It was a floor above, to the left, the final room on the left at the end of the hall. As I took my time up the staircase, I had to slow my pace to avoid being heard by any guards that may have been patrolling the upper levels. Would Louis' room have guards outside it? There was the possibility of course, but who was there to guard? Thankfully, as I peered down the corridor, I found it to be just as eerily silent as the one below.

I turned left and tip-toed my way down to the end of the corridor to Louis' room.

And there I was, the door wide open and reflecting what I'd felt inside for the last week and a half – nothing. Emptiness. Darkness so oppressive that I had to reach out a hand to steady myself. As I scanned the room, taking in the familiar desk littered with scientific diagrams and equations, the Junite contraptions strewn across the table-tops and the neatly made bed, I began to cry.

It was OK, I told myself. It was OK because I was alone and no one could see or hear me as I crumpled.

I carefully closed the door behind me as I took a step forward. I stumbled over to the window, crying more as I recalled Louis and I sitting together, looking out at the scarlet sky together, talking late into the night. Louis had told me he was in love with me that night. Now, the curtains were closed, encasing the far end of the room in darkness. I reached up and drew the curtains back - and gasped.

I'd completely forgotten what a state his room had been that night, before I'd found him sobbing to himself. He'd slashed the upholstery and thrown all his work to the ground in frustration. I'd helped him clean everything up before we both went to bed but there was nothing we could do about the torn furniture. Nobody had been to mend it since then, and the chairs stood, tattered and in strips.

I plopped down on the padded window seat. The familiar location, one where I cherished such important memories with Louis, should have made some joy spark within me. It had to because then it was just another place, another window where people looked out.