Mountain Butterfly

Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

When I turn the corner to enter the kitchen I collide with my “Dad.” I don’t say anything. I stare up at him waiting for him to speak first. He looks extremely uncomfortable as he hands me a tattered book with a zebra print pattern on the cover. I eye him curious. I wanted him to start explaining not hand me some stupid old book.  He gestures to the book as he speaks, “that was your mother’s diary.” I most definitely don’t think this a stupid book anymore.  I keep my facial expression neutral.

“Before she died she told me that when you were old enough, and the time was right, I was to give this to you. She said you deserved to know everything, and she wanted to be the one to tell you. I have thought about giving this to you a thousand time. You were ready, but I wasn’t. You were my little girl and I wanted it to stay that way. I am so sorry Butterfly.”

Still looking at the book I nod, and turn and walk away. I know it was rude but I’m still mad at him. I walk straight out the front door and jump. I take off into the sky. I fly to one of my favorite spots in the middle of the woods. It is a huge weeping willow tree. I land at its base. I part the veil of branches and begin to climb. I don’t stop climbing until I’m almost at the top. I sit on a wide branch with my back resting on the trunk of the tree.

I have yet to open the diary. I continue to turn it over and over in my trembling hands. I finally crack it open. The pages are stiff with age and beginning to yellow about the edges. I had been thinking so much about finding out what my father’s name was I didn’t even realize I didn’t even know my mother’s name. All I knew was that she was my “Dad’s” sister. I look down at the first page and in her beautiful script is her name, Alicen Gorden.

I nervously turn the page, it’s dated Tuesday, September 8th from eightteen years ago. I begin to read with a mixture hopeful curiosity and anxiety.

Dear Diary,

Today was the first day of school. I’ve been put it all the smart people clases. Just one more thing to add to my “Uncool” list. I’m a senior in highschool and have zero friends. It’s pathetic I know, but hey that’s my life. When I picked up my class schedule today I noticed I had something new this year. I had weekly sessions with my guidance counselor, Lary. Lary is a short and fat, balding little man. He isn’t very good with talking, or listening for that matter. How he became a counselor is beyond me. Anyways today was my first session. He thought it would be beneficial for me if I could esxpress my feelings. Since I was clearly not “opening up” to him, he handed me, you. A diary. Lary believed this would be a way for me to not bottle up all my emotions, a way to let them out. I’m going to try it out. We’ll see how it goes.

~Ali

I flip to the next entry.

Dear Diary,

School was boring and mundane as usual. Until fourth period! Here is what happened. I was sitting in calculus when, HE, walked in. Not to stereotype people but because I’m in nerd classes there isn’t a whole lot of cute guys. When this guy walked in I couldn’t help but notice how good looking he was! His hair was black as midnight, pulled back into a ponytail. He was wearing a dark T-shirt paired with loose ripped jeans with black worn converse sneakers. I knew I was staring but I couldn’t help it! He then looked out across the classroom and his crystal blue eyes locked with mine. I quickly looked away, ashamed at myself for starring.

In attempts to hide my blush I buried my face in my textbook. You can’t believe how embarrassing it was! To make matters worse he took the seat next to me! I peered over the top of the book to sneak a peek at him, only to find him looking at me with a hint of a crooked smile. I felt my blush deepened as I pretended to concentrate very hard on the lesson in my book. I felt someone tap me on my right shoulder, I look up. I saw the guy leaning over in the aisle toward me. He motions for me to lean in. I did. He then whispered in my ear, “your book is upside down.”

I pulled back and my eyes widened in horror, I looked at my book. Sure enough it was upside down. If it’s even possible I felt my face blush even more. The guy just chuckles. He turns away with a full smile on his face.

I have never been more embarrassed in my life! Well Jim is calling me down to dinner. So goodbye for now.

~Ali

P.S. Jim is my older brother. Even though he is really overprotective, I love him dearly.

I read the next couple weeks of entries. Smiling the entire time, I loved getting a peek into who my mother was. This next entry is dated on a Friday from mid November.

Dear Diary,

Today was AMAZING!!! As you very well know I prefer to spend my lunch period outside under the big oak. I have written to you many a time from beneath its great branches. It was raining quite hard this afternoon. I could hear the rolling thunder crack and the see the lightning flash beyond the glass that separated me from the outside.

I do not mind the rain. I have never been afraid of thunderstorms either. I would much rather be under my oak in the rain then the overcrowded and noisy cafeteria, but alas I did not have dry clothes to change into. I may not mind the rain but sitting through the rest of my classes soaking wet IS something that bothered me.

I stared out the small window in the door watching the wind blow the mighty branches of my oak. I sighed and turned away. After purchasing my lunch, consisting of mac ‘n cheese and a bottle of apple juice I made my way to the edge of the room. I sat down at the small table and began to push my food around with my fork not feeling very hungry.

Someone sits down next to me setting their tray down louder than I think necessary. I don’t jump, assuming I was sitting at someone’s table and that they wanted it back, I stood to leave. I heard his voice. The guy from calculus, he hadn’t spoken to me since that first day. I looked back over my shoulder to confirm that he was the one who had sat at my table. “Do I smell that awful, that you must flee away?”

I took me a few seconds to figure out what he saying. I then mumbled my apologies for taking his seat. I turned once more to leave but he catched my elbow to stop me. His eyes looked straight into mine as he spoke, “Won’t you sit with me?”

I was completely taken off guard, all I could manage was a nod. I sat back down, keeping my eyes down. We finished our lunch in silence. I didn’t actually eat my lunch though I just pushed it around. When the bell rang dismissing us I stood to leave. As I went to pick up my tray his hand brushed with mine as he picked it up for me. He walked over to the trash bins and threw both our trays away. I whispered my thanks and started to walk to my next class. He quickly caught up to me, and slowed his pace to match mine as I continued down the hall.

Right before I reached my locker he spoke, “I’m Jack by the way.” So this was his name. I then stoped in front of my locker and began to fumble with the combination. Jack stoped as well, just looking at me. “Do I get to know your name?” He smiled kindly. I was still having trouble with my lock, it has a habit of getting stuck. Jack took the lock out of my hands, “Here let me help. What’s the combination?” I told him my combination but I spoke to quietly for him to hear me. He leaned down closer to my face so he could hear what I said when I repeated the numbers.

Sometimes I really hate how shy I can be. Of course the lock opened on his first try. As he turned to leave I muster all my courage to speak, “My name is Alicen.” It was barely a whisper but he had heard it, He spun around with a wide smile on his face. I even managed a small smile in return. The students around us were filtering out of the hall and into their respective classes, then the late bell rang.

Being late to class was so worth it! I am so happy right now, I don’t even know why. I can’t explain it. I couldn’t dare tell my family about this. I would get a long lecture on how it would be breaking the law of secrecy and blah blah blah. Even though I don’t have any abilities like the rest of my family and the entire race of Balmties. I am still considered a Balmty. Everyone had an ability except me! I was a dud. I was more human than Balmty. I didn’t belong in either world. This thought makes me extremely sad spmetimes.

~Ali

There were watermarks dotting the page. Her tears. My heart ached for someone who I had never known, but I didn’t like the thought of her hurting. Reading her diary I see how much we are alike, this comforts me as I read on.