Think Too Hard

"Don't you dare let go"

What connection does it take to get someone to harbor feelings of lust of possession/possessing a person?

Today I had experienced a bond I was unaware I would ever experience. Whilst walking with my little brother I held his hand and for the first time, saddened that he let go.  This may seem like a regular occurrence in a families normal life but this shocked me.  The fact of the matter is my brother was never my brother to begin with. His father in jail most of his life and his mother dying of a drug overdose after running out on him, he had what some would call a tough life.  His grandfather taking him in, the boy was never told any of these things and assumes to this day that his grandfather is his actual dad and his aunts texts are from his mom.  Of course this would be something that would be something the average person takes a shock to, causing them to begin loving him unconditionally.  Selfishly and immoral, I didn't love him at all. It was the sort of numbness that fills a void to hush the ever growing white noise. Acting like family but never really being one.  His grandad is currently with my mother so instead of being his sibling I guess I would be considered an Aunt/Uncle; I don't feel that question is worth losing sleep over though. I admit that I am bad a partially bad person, I fear my elder sibling and felt numb towards my younger one so I was never surprised that I wouldn't even have a single spark with the new arrivals. I'm getting off topic.  I spent the day with him as usual and held his hand, physical contact with family usually irks me but this was oddly okay due to his age.  I yelled at him I would let go if his hand became sweaty.  He begged me not to let go, I, becoming satisfied. The fact that he let go somehow stung.  Blood is thicker than water, but if you add cornstarch it isn't, in my opinion anyway.  If a child cries people become annoyed, judging, or worried.  If something is cute, they stare. If someone yells, heads turn. If you love someone.... do you let go? A repetition of the lyrics "If you love them let them go" goes through me head but should we really let them go?  Shouldn't you let them acknowledge the fact that you want them around. It gets annoying , stings, burns , and the pain lingers. "The one that got away" lyrics, words, thoughts go through a persons mind when dealing with the crisis involving a person they hold dear. I care for you, I only want to watch and make you feel wanted.  A certainty compels a person to scream with their best friend or lover yet alone with strangers causes slight anxiety.  Shouldn't you be more afraid of freaking out someone you love rather than a complete stranger?  A bond from lacking or overflowing human emotion can somehow mold, break, and rebuild easily causing a confusion and flurry of even more emotion. I say never let them think you don't care but give them space to care back.  

At least this is all in my own opinion anyway...