When The Darkness Arrives

Chapter 5

"Alice!" I heard a very familiar voice say, and I felt someone shuffle onto my bed. I rolled onto my back and opened my eyes, just enough to see that it was Seth.

"Seth, what are you doing?" I croaked out, reaching to grab my water bottle to subside the pain in my overly dry throat.

"There's school today!" Seth announced loudly, with a wide grin spreading across his face. I'm glad he didn't fear going to school like I do.

"Shit. What's the time?!" I said, while sitting up in my bed, to check my clock, on the other side of the room.

Racing out of my bed, I put on my clothes and a bit of mascara. There was no use in using a large amount of makeup. My kind of hideous couldn't be hidden by makeup, as everyone in my classes like to say. I grabbed my bag and hurried toward the door, grabbing Seth on the way.

In a short fifteen minutes, I had already dropped Seth off, and was on my way back to my school. As I arrived in the parking lot, I saw no one. The bell had already rang. Just my luck.

As I rushed into class, everyone looked over at me. I heard snide comments like 'whore' 'fatass' 'go die.'  and I just put my head down, and took my seat, throwing my bag onto the floor beside me, and reaching for my binder.

"Quiet down." Mr. Lamarsh told the class, not even caring that they were all insulting me. I looked up at Mr. Lamarsh and we had eye contact. I glared at him, and looked away. So much for a bully free school.

I successfully made it through my morning classes, with only insults thrown at me, instead of the usual fist that gets thrown my way at least once a day. The lunch bell rang and I ran for the door. Sadly, I wasn't fast enough. A blow to my stomach left me coughing and choking for air. The teacher acted as if he hadn't seen anything.

"Go kill yourself, no one wants you," Jess said as she walked past, followed by her group of friends, which all either sent an elbow digging into my stomach, or other nasty words. I heard them all laugh as they walked away. I looked after them, and waited until they were out of sight before leaving the classroom.

Tears began falling out of my eyes, and I knew I had to leave. I knew I had to go anywhere but here. If they saw me cry, that would bring a whole new vocabulary of things they would call me. Pulling on my coat, I began running through the hallway.

I raced through the parking lot and to my car. Once I got into my car, I locked the doors, and let myself cry. My body was shaking, and I was trying to hold back sobs. I wasn't going to be able to make it through another class. I turned on my car, put it in drive and just drove. I didn't know where I was driving to, I just knew I needed to be anywhere but there.

I arrived at the beach, and just sat there, watching the waves hit the shore, then bounce back into the water. It reminded me of my life. As soon as I got to shore, and was able to breathe, something pulled me back, and I was lost in a darkness that I couldn't even begin to form into words.

I wanted nothing more than to jump into that water, and let the waves take me away. Nothing more than to sink down to the bottom of the lake and never come back up. Maybe if I did kill myself, everyone at school would see that they do make an affect on other people's lives and then they wouldn't bully another soul, the way they do to me.

I slowly left the beach, and drove towards Seth's school. When I arrived, Seth ran to my door and asked if he could stay the night at Jacks house. I let him go, I mean, if I had friends, I'd rather be at their house than with my cruel father, at my own house. I gave Seth a quick kiss on the forehead and watched as he ran toward his friend, with the widest grin spread across his face.

Fifteen minutes later, I tiptoed into my house, and hurried to my room. I locked the door, and ran for my bed. Falling to my knees, I searched under my bed for my four bottles of pills I'd stashed. When I successfully found them, I poured them all onto my bed. There was easily enough to kill me.

I sat on my bed, and thought about my day at school and that was when realized no one needed me, not even Seth. I wrote out a few words to my little brother on a piece of paper, and left it beside me on my bed. I took each of those pills, one by one, until every bottle was empty. I layed down on my bed, and closed my eyes, ready for sleep to take me away.

I heard footsteps coming down the stairs but I was already nearly asleep. I heard yelling and then I faintly saw the door handle shake. I knew my father would get the door unlocked with a knife, like every other time I locked my door. The next two minutes past, then my door was shoved open. I felt my body giving out, and saw as my dad's face dropped. He looked from me to the empty bottles and he began yelling at me to throw up. I knew this was the  end. I smiled, and as my body gave out, my breath gave out as well.

                                *******

Beeping. All I heard was beeping. I saw flashes of white, and images flashing beneath my eyelids. My mom and I's accident, my dad giving me a long embrace, which of course was when he was kind to me, and another car. A car I couldn't recall, but it was smashed to pieces. It was even worse than mine and my mom's accident. Who's car was that?

I felt as though I was floating and I couldnt move, I couldn't talk, I could just lay there and watch as those three images flashed into and out of my head. All around me was beeping, what was with the beeping? What was happening? Where was I?

The three images I had seen now were gone and I fell into a deep darkness, that was quite relaxing, despite that damn beeping that still filled my head and made me want to cover my ears, but I couldn't move, no matter how much I concentrated.

Next thing I knew, I felt someone shaking my shoulders and I recognized a voice, I could only faintly hear it but it was, for sure, there. It was a voice I could never forget. Seth's. His voice kept calling my name, and I could hear him holding back sobs, trying to be strong. I wanted to open my eyes, I wanted to tell him that I'm okay, and that I can hear him, but I couldn't. I couldnt move, I couldn't talk, I couldn't open my eyes.

"I remember what you told me, when mommy was dying. You told me even if mom doesn't make it, you would always be here for me. You said I need to have hope, and believe that even if mommy doesn't get better, that she will go somewhere safe, and I need to be strong for mommy, because that's what she would want from me. If you need to go and be safe with mommy, it's okay," Seth whispered so quietly it was barely audible, but I heard his voice crack when he spoke those last two words. I knew he was only saying that to be strong for me, the same way he was for mommy. I felt him climb beside me and lay down. His body began shaking and I heard loud sobs escape his mouth.

"Please don't die."