Sadden

March 16, 2014

March 16, 2014

So yesterday we went to the hospital, and turns out I have Anorexia nervosa, ouch, Anorexia nervosa is a disorder where you refuse to eat food, that is true I have stopped eating lately, I feel like that my whole life is shit, and that I should just commit suicide...

Yesterday my dad came home exactly at 3 AM he had a bag on his hand, he was drunk, and this time he didn't talk, he just sat down on the chair near the table, he then said "Come here, I need to talk to you."

I quietly got up and sat down on a chair.

"We need more money, and we need to use the money wisely." he said.

For a second I was confused, If we need more money and use it wisely, why the hell is he using that money to buy Liquor? But I didn't say anything because I didn't want to be hit with a wrench, again.

So he stared at me for a second, then he said "Did you eat today?" I said "No" then he sighed and opened up the bag. 

Inside the bag there was one McDonald's Chicken Sandwich, and Fries with ketchup, and a Diet Mountain Dew soft drink.

I was really hungry because I hadn't eaten since yesterday, I was about to grab some fries when he suddenly said "That's not for you." I froze for a second, then I slowly stood up and walked to my room.

I could smell the Chicken Sandwich from my room, and I could also hear my dad teasing me while eating the fries "Oooooh, Delicious!" I heard him say.

I started to tear up, not because I didn't get to eat, but  because that my dad, my own dad did this to me, It didn't seem right, daddies are supposed to care for their daughters.

Before I could start to cry even more, I fainted.

Right now, I'm eating some Cheerios with no milk, because we ran out, and I have water from the sink on the table because we also ran out of water yesterday, The Cheerios tastes like Carboard, but it's  better than nothing.