The Worst Addiction

     I lit the fire to my gun, and placed it between my teeth breathing in death. It felt so right. Everyone has a poison. Weed, or alcohol. Mine happened to be cigarettes. I needed something to distract me from my lack of my favorite drug, her.

     She was worse than heroin, or coke. She wasn't something you could just buy off the corner from a dealer. You had to work hard to get her, and once you do you work harder to keep her from leaving. I guess I didn't work hard enough.I guess I didn't kiss her enough, and tell her how much I loved her. How much I needed her.

    I needed her voice, her touch, her kiss. I felt like I was dying without her, and going insane.I remembered the last night I saw her face. We were both screaming, and I'd made her cry. I hated myself for that. She left me, and I deserved it. I let her walk away, but only because she deserved better than me.

     I should've bought her flowers, and teddy bears, anything she wanted. She was worth it. She was worth the world. I should've held her hand because I knew she loved it when I did. I should've given her all of time, every single second at every chance I had, and taken her dancing because I remembered how much she loved it even though I looked like an idiot dancing beside her. And she was still dancing, just with another man.

      And as I sat I breathed in my smoke. It hurt all over again. Every breath hurt since she's been gone. I knew that love wasn't worth it, because when they left you weren't the same.You were ripped apart and broken pieces. My friends thought I was crazy, making a scene over this messy breakup.They didn't understand, and they couldn't. Not until they found someone they'd die for like me.