I'd ask God to help me, but I would never stoop that low. I never really believed in him, and in my time of need I'd be damned if I turned to him. That was using the guy, and he was used enough. So many people in this world asked things of him only when they needed help, and when life was going good he was forgotten.
So then there was no one to ask for help other than my pack. My beautifully tall, slim pack of friends that were always by my side. I took another out, and lit it up breathing in the cigarette. I couldn't ask my other friends for help because they would be none. They all gave awful advice.
They told me to get over her, and they told me to find a new better girl. I told them no. It wasn't possible. There was no such thing as a better girl, and they were all too fucking blind to see it. She might have walked away, but she had walked away with my damn heart locked in her perfectly painted nails. My chest bled every day because of her, and I doubted she'd ever really know that.
The guy she was with was a better man than I ever was, and I knew that because I used to know him better than I knew myself. He was just barley taller than I was, but that didn't matter much since she was shorter than the both of us by a mile. It was one of the things I loved about her.
His eyes were green. He was fit, because he ran a mile every day. He could spend all day with her. He could sing. He could buy her anything she wanted from red roses to diamond earrings, and as much as I wish I could've been able to do that for her I couldn't. I was sure she was happy because I saw her in the cafe last morning with the happy smile on her lips like it used to be when I was there beside her.
Her laugh echoed, and this time it wasn't from what I had said. It was thanks to him. I don't think she saw me either, and I'm not sure if I'm glad or upset her eyes hadn't caught me. If they had, then she didn't care. Not like she would. I was hopeless.
I needed help.
YOU ARE READING
The Worst Addiction
FanfictionShe left Zayn alone, and he's trying to figure out how he managed life before her. Getting over someone you love is one of the hardest things to do in life, and he's not sure how he can do it without damaging himself in the process.
