Gateway To the Soul (Eyes Take Me For a Fool)

Wistful

Well, this is the very first small collection of poems that I wrote a few days prior, and I'll warn you that my writing is not really that of a professional, but it helps so why not. I've also got these first ones posted in my ask book. It was suggested that I make a poetry book and at the time I wasn't really sure whether I wanted to or not, but I decided it might help me with depression, self esteem or emotional regulation. Just to vent some feelings out, really. I'll probably post them somewhat frequently, as it's not time consuming to write small poems, but I wouldn't bet on them being consistent. I'm just planning on posting whenever, honestly. Enjoy.

Burden

Sometimes people are strange.
In how they hope, how they love
How they laugh, how they cry
But one thing remains the same
The desperation to prove, to keep
How one grasps memories so tightly
How promises are piled on shoulders
Heavy in weight, and in thought
The loss that forces someone to say
'I understand.'
But do they really?

----
Moon

Hope is unusual
How it is so easy to grasp
But so difficult to hold onto
When it's two in the morning and the only thing heard
Is the shattering of glass bottles and one's heart
'Is it naive?' they ask. 'To hope.'
But for what?
How does it stick to one's mind and heart
When the clouds linger overhead
And black coats and umbrellas surround
Why does it stay when everything else leaves?

----
Before

Is it resolve that breaks?
Is it what shatters when she leaves only rubble in her wake
When nothing is left but memory
Or is it your window after she left, after she looked at you with what you thought was sympathy
Is it the cupboard where she stashed her favorite food
Is it the counter she sat upon, swinging her  legs aimlessly as you argued
Is it the couch, where you shared soft whispers and feather-light kisses
As your eyes start to glisten with memories while you wonder exactly what she misses

What is it that broke?
Was it your voice that quivered as you spoke?
Is it your heart because she took it and you let her
As a broken and fraying reminder of what you both were

Or is it her, her steps echoing through the halls after she broke you apart
The soft patter of her footsteps; the only sound that matches the slow beating of your own heart

----
In Mind's Eye

They know
They know as your arms swing at your sides
As you allow yourself a backward glance
As you let your silence engulf you

As your tears fall harshly down your cheeks
But you don't move
Because you can't
Because you've been rooted to the spot
Ever since she spoke to you in a hushed tone
But so loud that you couldn't breathe

They know
But you wish they didn't

----
Cycle

How does life manage to trick us
Into thinking in repeat
Into believing the mantra we are told
Into a never ending loop
That always catches us unaware

We saw it coming, but we stayed
Foolishly
Faithfully
But we were wrong
We're always wrong

It never stops life from contempt, from scorn
From ripping and pulling and breaking

I knew I was wrong
But it never stopped me from trying
Does it make me so foolish to let it happen?

----
I'm a Natural Disaster

Why is it
That the most beautiful things are the most painful
Why do we pause
When she's tearing through you like a hurricane
Why do we only stare
When she's thrown you about like a tornado but you are unafraid
Why do we let go
When she's already swept you away like a tsunami
Why do we stand and watch
When she's an earthquake and you can't help but tremble in her wake

Why do we wait
Every single time
Until it is already too late