Chapter 1: Naomi

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Am I crazy? I must be. I mean, how else could I explain my behavior. It's insanity. No one in their right minds would forgive someone for what they did.

I always forgive him.

I have to break this habit. I have to get away.

"Naomi." There it is. His voice, the way he says my name. With so much authority in his voice.

I know now, that if I were to look at him, I'd no longer be able to hold my ground. I don't want to forgive him. Not so easily. Not after this being his third time. I can't keep letting him hurt me. I can't.

"Look at me. I'm sorry. It was a mistake." He said, almost making me believe him. I can't look at him.

"A mistake you've made three times now." I said hating the way my voice sounded. Hating that if I were to look at him, I'd cry.

"You know I love you. I wouldn't want to hurt you on purpose." He said, trying to convince himself more so than me.

"You don't cheat on someone and expect them to be fine. You don't lie to someone and expect them to never find out." I said starting to close my bag.

"You can't tell me you didn't want to hurt me. When lately it's all you've been doing. I can't stay." I said to him and to myself. There was no reason for me to stay.

I closed my bag and headed towards the door. Enough was enough.

"Goodbye Calen." I said with sadness lacing my tone.

     My mother was more than happy to have me back home. She welcomed me with open arms. I thought it was a good idea to move in with my boyfriend. He was eighteen and I only seventeen. I'd been there for about a year.

My mother's brow pushed down in concern. "Naomi, what happened so bad that you decided to come home? I'm not mad or anything, but why? You seemed so happy last time we spoke." My mother said to me.

She didn't want me to leave in the first place, but she didn't deny my wishes. I wish she had now. I wish I hadn't been so blinded by what I thought was love that I would've listened to her. She was right.

"It just didn't work out, Mom," I said sniffling. She came over and gave me a hug. Saying that it would be okay. That everything would work itself out. I hoped she was right.

"Well, dinner should be ready in an hour or so. I'll let you settle in." She said grabbing my hand and giving it a squeeze before making her departure.

I looked around my old room. Exactly how I left it. Untouched by anyone since I'd been gone. I guess she knew I'd come back.

I started unpacking, as I did so I started to just let the tears flow. I couldn't just hold them anymore. I held it together long enough.

See the things that guys don't get, is that when they go out and cheat it doesn't just make the one he claims he loves look stupid. No, it does way more than this. It makes her question herself. Was I enough? What did I do wrong? Am I not as pretty as I was before? He can take her natural high that she got from being around him. And just destroy her. Not just her mood, her person. If a girl were to commit suicide after getting out of a relationship toxic with the amount of infidelity, people would say she was being extra. Or over exaggerated. That's not it. He managed to make her feel so inadequate and alone that she no longer felt the need to live.

I was that girl. I just don't have it in me to kill myself.

"Naomi!" I heard my father call out to me. The last thing I wanted was for him to see me in this emotional state.

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