The Boy Who Couldn't Kill Himself

Attempt 100?

The idea for this story came to me because of my depression. Since I was in elementary school, I've always felt out of place. I found out I was attracted to guys when I was in kindergarten. There was this one kid in first grade named Kevin. I remember looking at him and feeling something weird. I didn't know what it meant then, but looking back I'm surprised I even felt like that at that age. From then on, I started to notice guys more, even if at the time, I didn't know why. My journey through elementary on to middle school was one of self-hatred and suppression of the reality of things. My parents are devout Jehovah's Witnesses, and ever since I was smaller, I had heard that homosexuality was not seen as natural in the eyes of God. That God had created man and woman for each other and not man for man or woman for woman. It ended up becoming the root of my low self-esteem, and the loathing of my body and thoughts. I wanted so badly to be normal, to be accepted and loved unconditionally, even if it meant destroying parts of me that I now know are beautiful. This is a story I made mixing a thing I love, and something that defines lots of who I am. I hope you enjoy my lovelies.

Asher stood at the edge of the building. He had dreamed of this moment over and over in his head. He wanted to end it all. He had tried so many times to kill himself, but Riki (Robotic, Interactive, Kinetic, Intelligence) kept on blocking his attempts. Just last week, he had taken a knife to his arm, that was thrown out of his hand just as swiftly. He had injected himself with nanites while experimenting with self-healing wounds. The tests had been successful, but his depression had gotten worse. He always believed that if he could help others that were hurt physically, it would somehow help him cope with the chaos going on in him mentally. He had yet to sell his idea to a company, when he had first attempted suicide. He found that not only could the nanites be used to heal a wound, but also stop one from happening in the first place. "You do know that, I will stop this, too right? Don't underestimate the power of the nanites coursing through your veins Ash." "You won't be able to stop my fall Riki, I am 6 stories up. You really think you can stop me this time. Just leave me be please. I can't take this anymore." Asher turned around, so he wouldn't have to see the concrete coming to meet his body. He silently uttered his farewells to his family and friends. Especially to Ciara, and Natasha, his roommates, and best friends. He stood for what seemed like hours, until he finally let himself fall backwards. He met the cold rush of night air with open arms. He looked up with sleepy eyes as the sky seemed to get farther and farther away. "I finally did it..." he thought.