Demi's POV
"Is that all you can say. 'I'm sorry'. That's it?" She looks at me worried. But I can hear the anger and sympathy in her voice. I look up trying to find words. Trying to let the screams rip from my throat. But instead they stay tamed, hidden in their cage. She sits down next to me, placing her face in her hands. I want to comfort her. But I haven't really been in the touchy feely mood.
"How could I be so stupid" I hear her mumble. I look at her confused.
"What do you mean?" I ask I try to push the anger away and stay calm. She takes her hands from her face and looks at me. She doesn't say anything. Just looks at me.
"Do you mean stupid by, marrying me? Or dating me? Meeting me? Maybe even considering having a child with me!!" I scream the anger tears slip down my cheeks.
"Demi, I didn't mean it like that-"
"Then how?!!" I yell getting angrier by the minute.
"DAMN IT DEM! I mean pressuring you!!" Her breathing begins to get heavy. "I've been feeling like I'm pressuring you!! Ever since that fucking nightmare, you've been too freaked out to even look at me! Let alone touch me!! Demi, I want the old you back-"
"The old me is back." I look down at my wrists. Remembering I just showed them too her. Seeing her reaction. How scared she was. It hurt.
"No... That's not the old you. I want the old Demi I fell in love with. The one I could look at and just smile. The one I could kiss all day with out having to worry about you too much. The one I love." I look up at her. I notice my hands in hers. Her soft thumb caressing my hands. I look into her dark brown eyes. Theyre filed with fear, sympathy, lust. "Why?" I just look at her confused.
"Why did you do it?" I immediately know she is talking about my wrists.
"I don't know-"
"That's not a good answer Demi. Baby please tell me." She pleads.
"I was scared"
"There's nothing to be scared of"
"But there is... There's so much messed up shit that can happen."
"Like what? Name one."
"Loosing the baby..." I look at her trying to read her face.
"It's not going to happen De-"
"But what if it does?! You keep saying that it isn't going to happen... But what happens when it does?!!" I stand up and walk yo the fire place. Examining the pictures of Naya and I.
"Demi" her voice goes soft.
"Naya? I really am scared... We both know the possibilities. My family has problems with having children. It's bullshit. I know. But what if i can't handle it?" I take a breath feeling a presence next to me. I turn to find Naya right next to me. "What if I lose control again? Then what? I don't want to go back to rehab-"
"Then you wont" her hand caresses my cheek bringing me closer to her body. Her lips touch mine, giving me that sensation. The sensation of missing her lips, her touch. "I'm going to get you through this... We'll figure it out okay?" Her forehead against mine. I nod my head and bite my lip. Wanting another kiss. Needing another kiss.
I'm still scared, I don't know if I even want a child. Do I?
Ahhhh!!! Twist! Okay I'm done for today. Thank you guys so much, don't you just love cliffhangers. I don't. But I just thought why not do it again. Okay vote, comment, follow.
~Essence
STAY STRONG!!!! Love ya!!<3
