5SOS Oneshots

From Here... [Luke]

“I don’t understand why it has to end this way!”

I sigh audibly, waiting for him to continue talking. He took a step back and shook his head, keeping his eyes away from me. He kept quiet and I knew he was finished. With explaining, and of course, with me.

The sudden silence between the two of us caused a ringing in my ear. It was almost deafening. All I wanted was to hear his voice again, even if he was shouting.

I bit hard on the inside of my cheeks, keeping myself from bursting into tears. I took a deep breath as I closed my eyes and tried to forget where I am right now. My breath hitched as one lone tear rolls down my cheek. I wipe it immediately so he doesn’t see, good thing he had his back turned to me.

This wasn’t how I wanted this talk to turn out. I thought he felt the same way. Unfortunately, I misread his actions.

My heart was racing and I had no idea what to do. I didn’t know what to say to make things better. Actually, no, nothing I say will make things better. It’s over.

We’re over.

I tried to walk away and he must’ve heard me because he finally turned around to face me again. His eyes were reddening and I knew he was fighting the urge to cry, just like I was. The blue eyes I loved to look into weren’t shining. It even looked like it was gray under this lighting. Even from afar, all I could see were dull, soulless eyes.

“Since when?" he asked, barely audible. I was taken aback by his question. I tried to find the answer somewhere in my mind, I wasn’t prepared for that at all. "I just… you owe me at least that," he continued.

I didn’t owe him just that. I owe him everything. He’d been nothing but be the best he could be. Unfortunately, as time flew, it just didn’t feel right anymore.

I looked down, suddenly interested with the floor. It looked clean. It was never clean. I shook my head as I tried to collect my voice. “Luke…” I whispered, not being able to look at him directly. The way his name sounded when I said it seems different. It used to be filled with love and adoration, now it only sounds like it’s filled with guilt and betrayal. “I’m sorry…” my voice trailed off, not having anything else to say. I’ve said that phrase too many times already. He must be sick of hearing it. 

“I know you’re sorry. Now I wanna know since when, that’s what I asked, right?” he said, his voice getting louder, I could even hear the venom from his voice. That was the moment I really felt his anger. I fucked up. I fucked everything up.

I licked my lips as I felt another tear on my cheek. I raise my hand to wipe it off. I needed to tell him something. Anything. “I’m so-,” I started saying, but I stopped myself, he didn’t need to hear that again. 

Silence. 

“Luke,” I tried to start again. Before I could continue, he walked towards me and placed his hands on my waist. It felt right but in the same time it didn’t feel anything at all. Whatever that was happening between us meant nothing now and it’s entirely my fault. 

I then felt his head lean against the top of mine. “I love you…” he told me, just above a whisper.

“I love you too,” I reply, letting the tears fall freely now.

“Don’t lie to me. You never did, but at least I know that now,” he said as he pulled away from me, kissing the top of my head. 

“I did love you. Everything that happened between us was real, Luke. I would never let it get this far if I didn’t feel anything for you. I loved you with all my -”