My last name really isn't Barnes, but that's another story I'll save for later.
"Gianna, get yo ass in here. What I told you about leaving dishes in my damn sink, bitch."
Yeah, that's how she talks to me. She calls me every name in the book. Her name is Ester. Well, Ms. Ester, I guess. She's my caregiver. A caregiver for me and 10 other little girls. We live in a 3 bedroom and 2 bathroom apartment. It's always cramped and stank in here. All 12 of us cooped up in this little ass apartment. Tempers run high and low because of two reasons. Number 1, we're girls. Too much attitudes and periods. Number 2, there is no place for privacy. Not even in the closets.
"Ms. Ester those ain't my plates. I didn't even eat this morning."
I lied.
" Did I ask yo dumb ass if they was yo plates? No, I didn't. Get in here and clean this shit!"
Man, fuck you.
I walked slowly over to sink and reluctantly turned the nob for the water. It made a creeking sound and spat out drops of water. It finally got the message that I wanted to wash the dishes and decided to give me running water. Then I squirted some dish washing liquid in the water.
"Damn, it's hot in here".
I turned around it was Nisha walking into the kitchen. She was the oldest girl here. She was 15. One more year and she would be put out of the system. 16 was the age you get the boot. Out into the cold world, but I respected Nisha. She was tough cookie. I've know since I was 9, for 3 years. Her mom was a prostitute, who was addicted to crack cocaine. I call it the white devil. She told me stories of how her mom would leave her in middle of the night, to work the streets or sometimes how her mom would bring strangers in the house. She said her mom would have sex with about 5 to 6 different men. Then every morning she would be gone, on a journey to find the crack sellers. Nisha would leave out to walk to school, sometimes seeing her mother squatting down in a corner, lighting a pipe. Nisha said overtime she just became numb to everything. Eventually child protective services came and took Nisha away. She said she wasn't even sad. She was mad at her ma for not taking care of her. Now Nisha will be back out in the world, alone. She will probably see her mother again.
"Ain't you hot. I'm sweating bullets."
That was typical Nisha always complaining about everything. I share a room with her. To be honest, I don't mind sharing a room with her even though she whined. Nisha's a clean girl. She acts like a big sister sometimes. I remember the when I got my period. I was so scared. I thought I was going to die or something. I sat in the bathroom all night, crying. People banged on the door to get in cause they had to pee, and the only other bathroom was in Ms. Ester's room. She raised hell if you go in there. Eventually Nisha came to door.
She said, "Gianna, you okay."
Barely holding back sobs , I let out a weak "No."
"Can I come in?"
I opened the door.
She looked at the toilet and smiled.
"Gianna, it's okay. You got your period."
My heart rate slowed down. For once somebody in this whole universe showed me love. I started to feel
a little better.
She led me to the shower. Told me the clean up. After the shower, she showed me necessary things to do to keep up with myself. After that I respected Nisha. A lot.
She opened the refrigerator and peered in it. There was nothing in there but less than a half of a carton of spoiled milk. The date was 5 days late. On the counter there was a opened box of Captain Crunch.
"Damn, hey Gianna, do you think I can still eat a bowl of cereal and milk?"
I turned around and shrugged.
" Fuck, this. Ms. Ester! We ain't got nothing to eat in here!" Nisha yelled.
Then I heard Ms. Ester lumbering down the hall. The wooden floor screaming under her heavy mass. Ms. Ester was light skinned with freckles and short black hair. She had a permanent mean face. Her nostrils flared whenever she was aggravated, or even happy. She weighed a ton. It still baffled me at how she could still walk.
She walked into the kitchen.
" You hungry? Well, go find something to eat. Y'all eat all the damn food and complain when ya hungry!"
Nisha just looked at Ms. Ester.
