I know that you don't care what this little "hoe" says, but I think you need to hear it.... Amaya thinks I fall in love with you over words which is somewhat "true." The reason why I like you so much, the reason why when you want me right by your side I am right there. When you say I have no one that I could say "I love you" to, that wasn't true I had someone... I had you. You might not believe it, but even if we weren't together it felt it so real... like we had something.You were the first person that I felt like I actually liked, even if I had only one boyfriend, it wasn't the same. I have been through, what feels like "hell" just to be by you... just playing, I have been through some crap because I have feelings for you. Then just to finally realize you play me like I was a puppet. Everyone told me you didn't care, that you never ever once like me, that I annoy the fuck out of you, that you're a pervert and just want to have a "play body," just saying that would've never happen. It hurts... because you always was there for me when I needed you, you keep telling me you loved me. It is like you hit me so hard this time, that I can barely breathe without me dying. This won't change your mind about me, you have your own girlfriend, you don't really care either... I know. I have four days and they keep counting down, they are going fast. I have already started packing. If I stay, there might be a chance where my dad could go to prison and me and my sisters could go into foster care. My aunt could be accuse of kiddnaping if she keeps me. I am split into two. I need you more than you know, I have trouble sleeping every night, I feel sick to my stomach and it is all because of stress, but when I am with you or talk to you it goes away. But it always comes back, the drama of me and you won't stop, the drama of school, the fear of not know of what might happen to me, the lack of love I deserve from my parents, it all is killing me inside. I walk around with a smile on my face like nothing is wrong. The thought of it makes me even more sick. I want to cry every single second of every day. You might think all of this is bullshit and lies, but little do you know how I'm breaking while you fall asleep. I have nightmares almost every night just because I am scared to go back. I am scared of falling asleep without her screaming at me, slamming doors open, then coming towards me and keeps hitting me. The bullying makes it even worse... I have cried every single night for about three months. I am done with everything, I don't want to put up with all the bullshit my friends bring onto me. I walk around feeling like everyone is talking about me that every person on this planet hates me. I try to get in the most trouble i can just to try to stay away from this world, but my teachers don't send me out, they say I am a good kid. I want to go and cry in a hole. You don't care so if you ever read this I hope that you know some of the thing I am going through because this is just a little piece.
