~Beauty is Vain~

Decisions, Decisions

"He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed." -Proverbs 13:20 KJV

I rolled over in my new king sized bed in my new condo or...apartment if you want to be brutally honest. It was a worthwhile investment and I enjoyed waking up without worrying about any foolishness from my mom or the smell of vomit.

I stretched happily as I sat up, ready for the day. I had talked to my auntie last night and she was always as usual concerned with my church attendance and prayer life and asked me have I been in my 'prayer closet' lately, which I shamefully admitted not getting around to, because of work. So, I decided to start somewhere. I decided to start in the morning since it is the beginning of the day.

I dropped to my knees and closed my eyes and folded my hands to pray as I was taught as a little girl.  "Lord, I...thank you for allowing me to wake up this morning to see another day you have made, I am also grateful for...my dad...I pray that I can reunite with him again soon, and I also pray...for....."

My mom.

Was what I was supposed to say next, but I didn't want to. She of all people needed it most, but in my opinion, I didn't think she deserved it. Not after everything she put me and my father through emotionally and financially. I mean it was because of her after my father left I felt so all alone. Sometimes I forget I'm a teenager, I know a lot of people think I act grown up, but what do you expect from a girl who had to raise herself and had to do for herself at a young age?

"In Jesus name Amen." I decided to leave it alone, because I didn't feel like going through my emotional baggage and reminiscing all over again. I loved her, but the Lord knows I haven't quite forgiven her. I exhaled, as I quickly threw myself in the shower and pulled on my grey jogging pants and my white slightly cut off hoodie that showed off my belly diamond butterfly piercing.

I brushed and tied my hair in a high ponytail, before grabbing my weight watch that would track how much weight I lost and the distance I ran. I then called Lisa, who wanted to run with me this morning.

We both agreed we needed the exercise, she because of photoshoots (not that she is actually in them), she only takes pictures, but she wanted to make sure people would know it was a choice of her being an photographer and not because she didn't add up physically. I just wanted to stay healthy and keep up my metabolism.

"Hey Nicki, I'm waiting for you in front of the nature trail at the Tremson Park, so, like, what is taking you so long?" she asked. I grabbed my car keys, locked the apartment door and ran outside to my car.

"Sorry, I woke up kind of late, I had to stay over for dinner with Angelo's family, I got back home around 12 'o clock, I was so tired." I said. I had forgotten how punctual Lisa was.

"Oh, is he already introducing you to his family, must be serious." she teased.

I rolled my eyes.

"Girl please, I was not there with him, with him, I was just there discussing things with him." I said, honestly, leaving out the part about the ring he proposed to me as a business deal.

She definitely would think we were a thing. "Umm, hmm well anyways, my thighs aren't getting any skinnier hurry up and get here." she said. I laughed, hanging up.

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Sweat poured down my face as we crossed over another hill. "How many hills are there, are you trying to kill me." I said, barely breathing in between. I should've known she was going to choose the trail with the most hills and bumps.