My Hidden Notes

18

-There is always a stage in life where you stop and look around and see that you've failed,you failed everything,your tests,your parents,your friends and even yourself and within this stage you feel like you lost yourself,as well as everyone around you,it is the time when you feel like a nobody,when all you wish for is to die but you can not because you'll bring more disgrace to your parents than you've already done.You say to yourself that your going to be different,that your going to pull yourself up and make it through whatever but you cannot because your too weak and fragile because the cuts are getting deeper and deeper every time you fall and try to get up.You feel like you need your fathers tight hug yet still every time he talks about you he just shakes his head in disapproval,my mother who was once too proud,bailed on me and compared me to her friends daughter"Look at her,Be like her..."
But they don't know that their daughter that was once too clever isn't now,the one that was full of life is now stuck crying and pleading in her bathroom,the one that used to sleep beside her parents at night because she was scared of monsters,now is crying herself to sleep because she's not afraid to die anymore.Well all I could say is I lost myself through all this chaos,I lost that girl inside of me and most importantly,I lost my parents that were once to proud and now full of disgrace.All that I'm going to say is that I'm sorry.Sorry for not being the perfect daughter,sorry for not filling you with honor,sorry for bringing you shame,sorry for drifting down your name.I wasn't the daughter that you dreamed of,yet I'm sorry this is all I've got.I know that you provided me with to many things but I'm sorry I don't have anything to give you back.
I'm sorry ...."I failed".....
                                                 -NiveenSayegh

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I wrote this back when I failed my piano test and my report card.Back when I thought that grades are all that mattered,back when I thought that being a failure is a disgrace.
However,I know now that those letters/numbers written in red,are nothing but scribblings written on a paper that you will throw at the end of the year,and that you won't even remember .So to all people out there who have failed,work harder even if you think you did your best,work hard,because if you worked hard you won't even mind those scribblings because you know that you did your best.
Thomas Edison the inventor of the lightbulb,phonograph,and motion picture camera,was called "addled" by his teacher,so his mother had to drop him from school and teach him by herself.
Although he was named Time magazine's "Man of the Century," Albert Einstein was not an "Einstein" in school.
Einstein dropped out of school at age 15,then he decided to continue his education so he applied to the prestigious Swiss federal institute of technology,but failed.He returned to high school,got his diploma,and then passed the university's entrance exam on his SECOND attempt.
J.K Rowling's book(Harry potter) was rejected by 12 major publishers.
The list goes on and on,don't let those scribblings get to you,persevere and you shall find the light at the end of the tunnel soon.
"WE LEARN FROM FAILURE
NOT FROM SUCCESS"

Thank you for reading beautiful❤

P.S:it took me a lot of guts to share this with you guys,so please don't judge me ,and I'm here to tell you that the girl that was full of life is back on track and more powerful than ever!
If you need anything please feel free to talk to me❤