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Ok so hwres the thing.
If y'all don't know I play violin in this sucky ass orchestra. There's deadass only like 8 people in there you can't even call it an orchestra. Anyway.
I've been skipping orchestra lately. I know I know it's rlly bad and I would be ashamed. Well here's the thing: I really don't like that class. The only reason I'm still there is bc my mom wants me to keep going there yknow. The teacher pisses me off and we never learn anything new and I'm really bad and I feel like I'm incompetent when I go there and it's an awful class trust me.
And There's another reason. I'm failing biology. With a solid F :"). And I go to music periodically ofc like 4-5 times And I want to tell her the reason y is bc my grades are more important than orchestra. The school I go to is very academic and it's a lot of pressure from homework and expectations. Like the 6th graders here so pre algebra. Yet my teacher expects us to devote every free minute we have into practicing so apparently it isn't an excuse?
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I mean it's an after school club bc we have no music room and we only meet 2 times a week what am I gonna miss right? So when I go there I always forget to tell her why I've been missing but she never asks or anything so I forget. Well I was hanging around school waiting for my mom to pick me up, since she has no idea about all of this. She thinks I'm going to orchestra and I still have an A in biology. And my friend went and told me that if I don't show up at music until the concert, I'll be kicked out.
Being kicked out sounded great at first, I wouldn't have to go and I didn't have to deal with my teachers shit anymore and stuff. But then I realized my mom would kill me. Dread is filling me up as I type this now :"). She would skin me alive if she knew I was: 1. Lying 2. Skipping class 3. Failing and getting bad grades 4. About to get kicked out of a club
I mean I sound really petty rn but I really didn't wanna deal with the teacher and I still dont. But I hope I will tell her and not get kicked out. I want to kill myself so that she can drag my dead corpse 6 feet above so I can play again.
That sounded so petty i-
I've been really irresponsible lately and I feel awful how can I did this aughhh
